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Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.1

Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. v. 1
Some would argue that, it is a healthy sign as government is financing artists. While other says this money could have been used on other projects. Although, an artist need financial help in the initial stage of their career. However, I believe that there are other departments which state need to give priorities such as health care. On the one hand, some say, in the early stage of any artist needs funds to master in their respective art field and showcase their talent. To learn all 24 crafts of movie making is only possible to attend international film schools and it is every expensive for any an ordinary person. For example, An Indian film director SS Raja Mouli, who went on to win four national awards for his best movies. His dream comes true to study in the New York film academy, when he got financial help from the state government. However, I believe that art does not solve the major problems of our society. The Government should start investing more in the health care sector, which can solve many problems in our society. On the other hand, the government should first invest more in the health care sector, which is very important because, in every country diabetes is the major health problem. If the state funds for diabetic research it would solve the entire country’s diabetic issue. For example, in India many decades ago, newborn babies were suffering from polio due to lack of vitamin and calcium. Then the Indian government decided to invest a huge amount in Polio research, after a few years of research, doctors got the solution of this polio and then rest is the history. To conclude, I strongly believe that the government should first invest more to solve major problems of the society like health care and then finance in other fields.
Some
would argue that, it is a healthy
sign
as
government
is financing artists.
While
other
says this money could have been
used
on
other
projects.
Although
, an artist need financial
help
in the initial stage of their career.
However
, I believe that there are
other
departments which state need to give priorities such as
health
care.

On the one hand,
some
say, in the early stage of any artist needs funds to master in their respective art field and showcase their talent. To learn all 24 crafts of movie making is
only
possible to attend international film schools and it is every expensive for any an ordinary person.
For example
, An Indian film director SS Raja
Mouli
, who went on to win four national awards for his best movies. His dream
comes
true to study in the New York film academy, when he
got
financial
help
from the state
government
.
However
, I believe that art does not
solve
the major
problems
of our society. The
Government
should
start
investing more in the
health
care sector, which can
solve
many
problems
in our society.

On the
other
hand, the
government
should
first
invest more in the
health
care sector, which is
very
important
because
, in every country diabetes is the major
health
problem
. If the state funds for diabetic research it would
solve
the entire country’s diabetic issue.
For example
, in India
many
decades ago, newborn babies were suffering from polio due to lack of vitamin and calcium. Then the Indian
government
decided to invest a huge amount in Polio research, after a few years of research, doctors
got
the solution of this polio and then rest is the history.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that the
government
should
first
invest more to
solve
major
problems
of the society like
health
care and then finance in
other
fields.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Government give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resources: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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