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Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyed visiting. You should say: where the market is what the market sells how big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market. v.2

Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyed visiting. You should say: where the market is what the market sells how big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market. v. 2
Online communication is gaining popularity nowadays. It is noticeable that, the people prefer to engage online with their friends rather than people around them. This essay will describe why the disadvantages outweighed the advantages. Certainly, making friends online has its own benefits. Firstly, our views can be broadband with all over the world, Individual can come across with different culture, religious belief, colours and region, for instance, a person living in the United Arab Emirates and planning to relocate Germany, instantly, he can get all the required information from their friends or relatives over there. Moreover, the online communication is far more effective than real life experience, individual have ample of time to plan their communication. However, outstanding negative impacts cannot be overlooked, One disadvantage is, the people over the internet is unreliable, they pretend to be different personality in contrast to real life, for instance, recently, a story published in the newspaper that a group people disguise as female, fool millions of users and get their adult stuff and later on they were treating them to either they will release the obscene photos or they have to pay the certain amount. Furthermore, focusing online communication will undermine social skills, it is impossible to achieve the daily task without interaction with the people around them, the individual will impair their interpersonal skills which seem to be significant for their communication. Without those essential skills it will be difficult to leave the satisfied life with the digital world. In conclusion, although it is becoming a more popular for the people to socialise through the internet, it has brought about too many problems for this to be considered a positive trend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is gaining popularity nowadays. It is noticeable that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
with their friends
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
why the disadvantages outweighed the advantages.

Certainly
, making friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
Firstly
, our views can be broadband with all over the world, Individual can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture, religious belief,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
and region,
for instance
, a person living in the United Arab Emirates and planning to relocate Germany,
instantly
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the required information from their friends or relatives over there.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
is far more effective than real life experience, individual have ample of time to plan their communication.

However
, outstanding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts cannot
be overlooked
, One disadvantage is, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
over the internet is unreliable, they pretend to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
personality
in contrast
to real life,
for instance
, recently, a story published in the newspaper that a group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disguise as female, fool millions of users and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their adult stuff and later on they were treating them to either they will release the obscene photos or they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay the certain amount.
Furthermore
, focusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
will undermine social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, it is impossible to achieve the daily task without interaction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them, the individual will impair their interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which seem to be significant for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Without those essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
it will be difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the satisfied life with the digital world.

In conclusion
, although it is becoming a more popular for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialise' is British English.
socialise
through the internet, it has brought about too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for this to
be considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyed visiting. You should say: where the market is what the market sells how big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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