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Part 2Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyedYou should say: Where the market isWhat the market sellsHow big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market v.1

Part 2Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyedYou should say: Where the market isWhat the market sellsHow big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market v. 1
With the increasing number of threats and robberies, people are facing security issues everywhere if they hide inside the house or they go to the market. The thought process of this essay will discuss the several countermeasure needs to be taken by the government and the citizens to enhance their safety against being an easy target for criminals. We all know that offender targets those persons who wear precious accessories like exorbitant jewellery and watches while travelling outside the house. These items become the eye-catching for the thieves, and the person becomes the victim. Moreover, a self-defence weapon like pepper spray and the stun guns for the security purpose is a better option. Lastly, people who go outside in the late evenings is dangerous because criminals take advantage of nighttime when there is a less crowd on the streets. The crime branch of Jammu conducts a survey that 50% of people who become the victim of criminals who wear costly diamond ornaments when they visit local markets, and this allows criminals for robberies when they are walking alone on the street in the late night. There are other measures that should be taken into action by the government and people for their safety. First and Foremost, the authority needs to increase the police patrolling in these areas when there is an increase in the number of burglaries, which gives some peace of mind to local people. Secondly, the political people can install the CCTV cameras in the city which offers an opportunity to get hold of the criminals and impose severe punishment and penalties This way crime rate will decrease, and people feel safe in the marketplaces. A recent survey conducted in North Carolina that rate of atrocity reduces by 45% after installing cameras in the crowded places, and state had increased the patrolling police force in the night for the security of local people. To sum up, stealing someone's valuable property is common phenomenon. So, in the world of increasing the crime rate, people should learn not to become a target for criminals by wearing expensive ornaments, and the state minister should also increase the police force in the areas where the percentage of corruption is high for the safety of local people.
With the increasing number of threats and robberies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing security issues everywhere if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
inside the
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house or
they go to the market. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of this essay will discuss the several countermeasure needs to
be taken
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the citizens to enhance their safety against being an easy target for criminals.

We all know that offender targets those persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wear precious accessories like exorbitant
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
while travelling outside the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. These items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the eye-catching for the thieves, and the person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
the victim.
Moreover
, a
Possible spelling mistake. 'self-defence' is British English.
self-defence
weapon like pepper spray and the stun guns for the security purpose is a better option.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
go outside in the late evenings is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
take advantage of nighttime when there is a less crowd on the streets. The crime branch of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jammu
conducts a survey that 50% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wear costly diamond ornaments when they visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
markets, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for robberies when they are walking alone on the street in the late night.

There are other measures that should
be taken
into action by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for their safety.
First
and Foremost, the authority needs to increase the police patrolling in these areas when there is an increase in the number of burglaries, which gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
peace of mind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, the political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can install the CCTV cameras in the city which offers an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hold of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and impose severe punishment and penalties This way crime rate will decrease, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel safe in the marketplaces. A recent survey conducted in North Carolina that rate of atrocity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
by 45% after installing cameras in the crowded places, and state had increased the patrolling police force in the night for the security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, stealing someone's valuable property is common phenomenon.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in the world of increasing the crime rate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should learn not to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a target for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
by wearing expensive ornaments, and the state minister should
also
increase the police force in the areas where the percentage of corruption is high for the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Part 2Describe an open-air or street market which you enjoyedYou should say: Where the market isWhat the market sellsHow big the market is and explain why you enjoyed visiting this market v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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