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Full-time university students need to spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Full-time university students need to spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. v. 1
There is no doubt that college students studying is most important. While some people believe that studying is important, so most of the time spend in studying, others argue that they have to involve in other activities. In this easy, I tend to agree with former argument. Firstly, full-time university students must spend more time for studying. For example, students need to prepare for the exams, due to all the exams should be in bookish knowledge. If you give correct or proper answers all the exams from the college books. As a result, If you completed the educational institution studies, then you will get a good job and will get more value from the society. Suppose if you failed in the university final examinations, you will lose your career. Secondly, nowadays everything is important, if you concentrate or more time spend in studying, you cannot gain social knowledge and how to lead to your life in the society. For example, if you do not know how to travel or how to interact with new people, it is disadvantage where your career starts. You should know how to mingle with outside of the world. As a result, you need to face some social issues as well as your behavioural issues in the society. In the conclusion, full-time students need to focus on their studies, because it is very important to get into in future life, as well as a need to improve other activities like socialization, behaviour with others, and strong skills for leading a life. I would agree the studies are important, but also interpersonal skills and leading the life skill very important.
There is no doubt that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of the time spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, others argue that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
involve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities. In this easy, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with former argument.

Firstly
, full-time university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend more time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to prepare for the exams, due to all the exams should be in bookish knowledge. If you give correct or proper answers all the exams from the college books.
As a result
, If you completed the educational institution studies, then you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more value from the society. Suppose if you failed in the university final examinations, you will lose your career.

Secondly
, nowadays everything is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
, if you concentrate or more time spend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
, you cannot gain social knowledge and how to lead to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the society.
For example
, if you do not know how to travel or how to interact with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it is disadvantage where your career
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
. You should know how to mingle with
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the world.
As a result
, you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social issues
as well
as your
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues in the society.

In the conclusion, full-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus on their studies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities like socialization,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
with others, and strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the studies are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and leading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Full-time university students need to spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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