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Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.23

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 23
At present, international tourism has become a prime source of economic growth of some countries and is tremendously growing for attracting people the world over. Although tourist markets generate the haphazard situation between people, who are connected with various cultures, I, partially, disagree with this viewpoint. This is because it helps people to communicate and embrace other cultures. To begin with, it is quite evident that the massive investment in tourism sectors succours any nations to develop immediately, but this also creates stress among nations, debates on any trifling issues and leaves the sign of anger among the common people. For example, Long Louver, a famous You tuber, went to Japan, where he found Japanese tradition a little bit odd which was telecasted not only in the YouTube but also in different media channels. This attitude of the American arose tension and hatred from Japanese. Another example of rising chaos is that one of the Chinese came to a buffet party in a Thai restaurant where he misbehaved with a waiter for his disrespect to his guests. Since all these issues do not publish in the USA and China, this rising tension is beyond to the general public. In contrast, touring in other countries pacifies the human body and soul. Furthermore, it connects different kinds of people and their culture which, consequently, could help people to know various traditions. Sometimes, some guests love other cultures, so much that they embrace those cultures as their own culture. For instance, many Americans like Indian culture. A renowned musician, Nick Jonas, an American, who married an Indian film star, Priyanka Chopra. This happens only for the love of Indian culture and people. Thus, international tourism not only provides revenue to the nation, but it also makes a bond with the host country. In conclusion, it is a controversial issue as to whether international tourism rises different types of crisis between people of various cultures, or, whether the growing tourism industry provides opportunities to mix with the other parts of the world and to communicate with people of different background. In my opinion, the proliferation of tourism company creates both
At present, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a prime source of economic growth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries and is
tremendously
growing for attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the world over. Although tourist markets generate the haphazard situation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who
are connected
with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, I,
partially
, disagree with this viewpoint. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate and embrace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is quite evident that the massive investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sectors
Possible spelling mistake found.
succours
any nations to develop immediately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
also
creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
among nations, debates on any trifling issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of anger among the common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, Long Louver, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You tuber, went to Japan, where he found Japanese tradition a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
odd which was
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the YouTube
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
media channels. This attitude of the American arose tension and hatred from Japanese. Another example of rising chaos is that one of the Chinese came to a buffet party in a Thai restaurant where he misbehaved with a waiter for his disrespect to his guests. Since all these issues do not publish in the USA and China, this rising tension is beyond to the
Consider using "public".
general public
.

In contrast
, touring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries pacifies the human body and soul.
Furthermore
, it connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which,
consequently
, could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to know various traditions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
guests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that they embrace those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Americans like Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. A renowned musician, Nick Jonas, an American, who married an Indian film star, Priyanka Chopra. This happens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides revenue to the nation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a bond with the host country.

In conclusion
, it is a controversial issue
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
rises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
types of crisis between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, or, whether the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry provides opportunities to mix with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of the world and to communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
background. In my opinion, the proliferation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
creates
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
both
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. with this opinion? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
355 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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