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From school year 2019-2020, Vinschool applies a new studying model for High School. According to that, students of grade 11 and 12 no longer have homeroom class and they have more self study sessions. Some say that this model promotes autonomy while the others concern about giving students to much freedom which may affect their academic results. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development? Write 300-400 words v.1

From school year 2019-2020, Vinschool applies a new studying model for High School. According to that, students of grade 11 and 12 no longer have homeroom class and they have more self study sessions. Some say that this model promotes autonomy while the others concern about giving students to much freedom which may affect their academic results. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development? Write 300-400 words v. 1
Since the advancement of technology, the society has witnessed an explosion of information to which individuals are granted full access. By having personal computers, smartphones, a few words in Google’s search bar and a click would bring about up-to-date news. As serene as it seems, not all we acquired through such mean is accurate. In my perspective, people should be cautious whether the information is misleading or not. With regard to online data, while a large proportion is considered to be precise, there is still a great deal of deceptive data disseminated throughout the Internet, typically on websites. By dint of the ease of access by computerized devices, it is undoubted that people are able to modify according to their own will, without verification. This can be exemplified by the fact that Wikipedia, favoured by most haphazard students as a source of reference, can be altered by anyone to suit their biased opinion. The result of using such erroneous knowledge for research can cause misconception in a number of people. Likewise, any social media users can post a false report about a matter on their account; were people to be deluded in misinformation, it would render endeavour to recover the truth nerve-racking since any info tends to have a pervasive effect. On the other hand, the risk of exposure to fraud is likely to be higher in correspondence to our belief in the false content. For some whose knowledge of online security is limited and whose attitude is indifferent towards the truthfulness, they are easier to be swindled. Sinister predominantly come from hackers’ motives to seek personal details from aforementioned users. This undue trust in uncensored info adversely affects the credibility of websites that was presumably reliable. Besides, careless registration on fraudulent websites that are meticulously designed by hackers using intriguing made-up information is becoming a commonplace. As a result, a bevy of victims has been declared to suffer from identity theft. In conclusion, I firmly maintain the idea that it is a crux to process daily news and we cannot be completely dependent on what is alluded to. One ought to be both a shrewd and cynical citizen so as not to fall for the canard.
Since the advancement of technology, the society has witnessed an explosion of information to which individuals
are granted
full access. By having personal computers, smartphones, a few words in Google’s search bar and a click would bring about up-to-date news. As serene as it seems, not all we acquired through such mean is accurate. In my perspective,
people
should be cautious whether the information is misleading or not.

With regard to online data, while a large proportion
is considered
to be precise, there is
still
a great deal of deceptive data disseminated throughout the Internet,
typically
on websites. By dint of the
ease
of access by computerized devices, it
is undoubted
that
people
are able to modify according to their
own
will, without verification. This can
be exemplified
by the fact that Wikipedia,
favoured
by most haphazard students as a source of reference, can
be altered
by anyone to suit their biased opinion. The result of using such erroneous knowledge for research can cause misconception in a number of
people
.
Likewise
, any social media users can post a false report about a matter on their account; were
people
to
be deluded
in misinformation, it would render
endeavour
to recover the truth nerve-racking since any info tends to have a pervasive effect.

On the other hand
, the
risk
of exposure to fraud is likely to be higher in correspondence to our belief in the false content. For
some
whose knowledge of online security
is limited
and whose attitude is indifferent towards the truthfulness, they are easier to
be swindled
. Sinister
predominantly
come
from hackers’ motives to seek personal
details
from aforementioned users. This undue trust in uncensored info
adversely
affects the credibility of websites that was presumably reliable.
Besides
, careless registration on fraudulent websites that are
meticulously
designed by hackers using intriguing made-up information is becoming a commonplace.
As a result
, a bevy of victims has
been declared
to suffer from identity theft.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
maintain the
idea
that it is a crux to process daily
news and
we cannot be completely dependent on what
is alluded
to. One ought to be both a shrewd and cynical citizen
so
as not to fall for the canard.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay From school year 2019-2020, Vinschool applies a new studying model for High School. According to that, students of grade 11 and 12 no longer have homeroom class and they have more self study sessions. Some say that this model promotes autonomy while the others concern about giving students to much freedom which may affect their academic results. Do you think that it is a positive or negative development? Write 300-400 words v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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