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Occasionally, students in elementary school are allowed to advance to the next grade even though they have not successfully completed the lower grade. Advocates of “social promotion” think that keeping a child in a grade for longer than a year hurts his or her development and self-esteem. Do you agree or disagree with the idea of social promotion? Use logical arguments and specific examples to support your opinion v.1

Occasionally, students in elementary school are allowed to advance to the next grade even though they have not successfully completed the lower grade. Advocates of “social promotion” think that keeping a child in a grade for longer than a year hurts his or her development and self-esteem. with the idea of social promotion? Use logical arguments and specific examples to support your opinion v. 1
There are differing viewpoints as to whether or not students in elementary school are allowed to advance to the next grade even though they have not successfully completed the lower grade. Keeping students who are falling behind their grade-level in the same grade without a thoughtful intervention plan can be problematic. Therefore, I agree with the idea of social promotion because grade-level retention is a “wait-to-fail” model of remediation, and it is not a type of effective academic intervention. In promoting students’ academic success, the school should consider a school-wide proactive strategy rather than implementing grade-level retention for students who are not meeting their benchmark standards. For example, the school may consider conducting (present participle) a school-wide screening at the beginning of each school year. The purpose of the screening is to identify students who are at-risk in certain academic areas at an early stage. If students are identified as at-risk, the school will provide additional academic supports that are based on the students’ needs, such as small group instruction or peer-tutoring program. Early identification along with a thoughtful intervention plan will increase the likelihood of students’ future school success. In contrast, grade-level retention is a “wait-to-fail” model remediation, and perhaps, an ineffective form of intervention for the student. As a future educator, I disagree with this remediation strategy because it does not help the students academically rather it emotionally harms the students. For instance, students who experience academic stress without some appropriate supports may further develop mental health problems. Placing students who have been retained in the same grade with younger students contributes to the students’ feelings of failure. In the long run, this will impact their mental health. Finally, we want to see our students to succeed in school academically, socially, and behaviorally. To do this, we need to create and implement some antecedent interventions instead of keeping them in the same grade for a longer time. Therefore, social promotion is a better alternative to student success than retention.
There are differing viewpoints
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
as to whether or not
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students
in elementary
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school
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to advance to the
next
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grade
even though
they have not
successfully
completed the lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
. Keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are falling behind their grade-level in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
without a thoughtful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intervention
plan can be problematic.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of social promotion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
grade-level retention is a “wait-to-fail” model of remediation, and it is not a type of effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
intervention.

In promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
success, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should consider a school-wide proactive strategy
rather
than implementing grade-level retention for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not meeting their benchmark standards.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
may consider conducting (present participle) a school-wide screening at the beginning of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
year. The purpose of the screening is to identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are at-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
areas at an early stage. If
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students
are identified
as at-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will provide additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
supports that
are based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
needs, such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
group instruction or peer-tutoring program. Early identification along with a thoughtful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intervention
plan will increase the likelihood of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
success.

In contrast
, grade-level retention is a “wait-to-fail” model remediation, and perhaps, an ineffective form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intervention
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. As a future educator, I disagree with this remediation strategy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
academically
rather
it
emotionally
harms the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
appropriate supports may
further
develop mental health problems. Placing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
been retained
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
with younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
contributes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
feelings of failure. In the long run, this will impact their mental health.

Finally
, we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to succeed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
academically
,
socially
, and
behaviorally
. To do this, we need to create and implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
antecedent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interventions
instead
of keeping them in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
for a longer time.
Therefore
, social promotion is a better alternative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
success than retention.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Occasionally, students in elementary school are allowed to advance to the next grade even though they have not successfully completed the lower grade. Advocates of “social promotion” think that keeping a child in a grade for longer than a year hurts his or her development and self-esteem. with the idea of social promotion? Use logical arguments and specific examples to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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