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The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. v.1

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. v. 1
There is no doubt that people are flying more these days. Airline ticket prices have fallen drastically and individuals are flying frequently. This essay will discuss some benefits and drawbacks of this trend. On the one hand, the two main advantages of this are time saving and increase tourism. The flight between New York and London is reduced to 8 hours, due to the super-sonic commercial aircraft Concord. This saves a lot of time for people. Tourism is booming due to this trend. For example, 50 years ago families used to take local vacations, but now the flights the so inexpensive that everybody prefers travelling abroad. Countries such as Dubai has their whole economy, build around tourism. Furthermore, local vendors are also benefiting. This is because when individuals travel in other countries, they tend to buy local items. Which as a result helps the local economy. On the other hand, there are a few disadvantages also. With increasing competition in airlines, they are struggling to make a profit. Hence customers' comfort is generally neglected. To illustrate, some companies are buying overused aircrafts. Because of this, the customers' safety is directly at risk. In addition, the modern planes are so packed to increase seating, they are lacking in basic safety gears. One more side-effect of cheap flights is over-tourism. For instance, some of the cities in Italy have become so polluted because of this, and all the famous tourist attractions have over five hour wait time. To conclude, although flying has become accessible and beneficial, it has some negatives. If it's helping a country grow by improving the economy, there are harmful effects like over-tourism.
There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are flying more these days. Airline ticket prices have fallen
drastically
and individuals are flying
frequently
. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks of this trend.

On the one hand, the two main advantages of this are time saving and increase tourism. The flight between New York and London is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to 8 hours, due to the super-sonic commercial aircraft Concord. This saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Tourism is booming due to this trend.
For example
, 50 years ago families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vacations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the flights the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
inexpensive that everybody prefers travelling abroad. Countries such as Dubai has their whole economy, build around tourism.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
vendors are
also
benefiting. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when individuals travel in other countries, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
as a result
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy.

On the other hand
, there are a few disadvantages
also
. With increasing competition in airlines, they are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
customers' comfort is
generally
neglected. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are buying overused
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "aircraft", the plural form of the noun 'aircraft'?
aircrafts
.
Because of this
, the customers' safety is
directly
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
In addition
, the modern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
packed to increase seating, they are lacking in basic safety gears. One more
Did you mean "side effect" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effect
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
flights is over-tourism.
For instance
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cities in Italy have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
polluted
because of this
, and all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
tourist attractions have over five hour wait time.

To conclude
, although flying has become accessible and beneficial, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
negatives. If it's helping a country grow by improving the economy, there are harmful effects like over-tourism.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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