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Fossil fuels are the main source of energy in many countries. However, in some countries, alternative sources of energy are encouraged. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v.1

Fossil fuels are the main source of energy in many countries. However, in some countries, alternative sources of energy are encouraged. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v. 1
These days, fossil fuels are known as significant resources of energy; however, alternative sources such as wind and solar energy are utilized in most developed countries like the USA, Japan. As far as I am concerned, this tendency brings about more positive effects than negative ones. On the negative side, solar and wind energy depend on whether. In windless countries obtaining this type of energy is implausible; therefore, it is common for certain countries. Moreover, most new energy sources are costlier than conventional ones. For instance, majority of poor countries use fossil fuels for their cost, although they are aware of damage of them. In spite of the evident drawbacks, I still believe that usage of alternative sources has more benefits for governments and people. The major advantage of it is that wind and solar have less harm than fossils. That is to say, if the countries use these sources, their people will be healthy. For instance, oil and coal energy release a large amount of toxic which cannot be emitted by the alternatives. Furthermore, production of wind an solar energy is considerably easier than traditional sources like oil and natural gas. There are lots of steps in producing fossils, but gaining alternatives is much more uncomplicated. By way of conclusion, I believe that the merits of utilizing alternative sources of energy are of more significance when it is compared to demerits. From my personal perspective, this trend should be prevail the whole world.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels
are known
as significant resources of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
;
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are utilized
in most developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, Japan. As far as I
am concerned
, this tendency brings about more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.

On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
depend on whether. In windless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
obtaining this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is implausible;
therefore
, it is common for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, most new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
are costlier than conventional ones.
For instance
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuels for their cost, although they are aware of
The usual collocation for word "damage" is "to" not "of." Revise: "damage to".
damage of
them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the evident drawbacks, I
still
believe that usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
has more benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The major advantage of it is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
have less harm than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
.
That is
to say, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be healthy.
For instance
, oil and coal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
release a large amount of toxic which cannot
be emitted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
.
Furthermore
, production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wind
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is
considerably
easier than traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
like oil and natural gas. There are lots of steps in producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossils
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
is much more uncomplicated.

By way of conclusion, I believe that the merits of utilizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
are of more significance when it
is compared
to demerits. From my personal perspective, this trend should be
Consider using the past participle "prevailed"?
prevail
the whole world.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Fossil fuels are the main source of energy in many countries. However, in some countries, alternative sources of energy are encouraged. Do you think this is positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
244 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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