Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letterstate what type of membership you have and how you have paid for thisgive details on how you have be v.1

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letterstate what type of membership you have and how you have paid for thisgive details on how you have be v. 1
The internet has made communication easy and accessible for everyone. Nowadays, humans are living in a computerized era, and as we know, technological advancements have made it easier to connect with people. But, still people are not satisfied with their day-to-day lives. I totally agree with the statement, because there is no face to face interactions anymore, it is only virtual. To begin with, happiness comes when we are with family and friends. First, due to modernization and busy lives, people tend to stick with their computers all day long, instead of going out and meeting their pals and folks. For instance, youngsters these days are more into their mobiles and laptops, and they keep on chatting with their friends via Facebook and Instagram. In addition to this, they do have a social life, but only virtual not in the real world. Consequently, more and more teenagers are suffering from anxiety and depression. Lastly, it is somewhere their parents fault as well, who does not encourage their kids to go out and meet their friends in person. Secondly, computerization has made more and more people living a sedentary lifestyle. To exemplify this, half of the people who work in the information technology sector have a nine to five job. Which means they just sit in front of their computer and work, and have minimal to zero interaction with the outside world. To add to this, even in their free times they just keep on working on their projects. Finally, social distancing is making more people to live unhealthy and unhappy life. As a result, sometime they commit suicides as well, because they have no one to share their thoughts or feelings in the physical world. To sum up, modernization and technological upgrading are necessary, but what human beings can do with the these developments when there is no happiness is their lives. Work and interacting virtual does not mean you are living a happy life. Happiness comes with, when a person is surrounded by their loved ones.
The internet has made communication easy and accessible for everyone. Nowadays, humans are living in a computerized era, and as we know, technological advancements have made it easier to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not satisfied with their day-to-day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no face to face interactions anymore, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
virtual.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
when we are with family and friends.
First
, due to modernization and busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to stick with their computers all day long,
instead
of going out and meeting their pals and folks.
For instance
, youngsters these days are more into their mobiles and laptops, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on chatting with their friends via Facebook and Instagram.
In addition
to this, they do have a social life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
virtual not in the real world.
Consequently
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are suffering from anxiety and depression.
Lastly
, it is somewhere their parents fault
as well
, who does not encourage their kids to go out and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their friends in person.

Secondly
, computerization has made more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living a sedentary lifestyle. To exemplify this, half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work in the information technology sector have a nine to five job. Which means they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in front of their computer and work, and have minimal to zero interaction with the outside world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, even in their free times they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on working on their projects.
Finally
, social distancing is making more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
unhealthy and unhappy life.
As a result
, sometime they commit suicides
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no one to share their thoughts or feelings in the physical world.

To sum up, modernization and technological upgrading are necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what human beings can do with the these developments when there is no happiness is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. Work and interacting virtual does not mean you are living a happy life. Happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with, when a person
is surrounded
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letterstate what type of membership you have and how you have paid for thisgive details on how you have be v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts