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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v.681

Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v. 681
Although many people believe that friends are more influential in our life; I do strongly disagree with this idea. In my opinion teachers play a crucial role in the student’s life and they can affect the students since they are mature enough and have a lot of experiences. Most of the times teachers assist the students in finding their talents and this is a great achievement in teacher’s life. Moreover, I believe that the policy of governments is in a way that most of the times they try to communicate their desirable values to the people, and they ask teachers to do it for them. Doubtless, students try to imitate someone who they really respect and admire and the teachers are those who have the great chance for this selection since students meet them every day. Teachers are mature enough and since they have many year experiences of facing with different types of students who have divers kinds of personalities, they have the capability to attract the students. An example from my own life may shed some light on this issue; I remember the time when I had to make a decision to choose my future major. At that time I chose physics as may major since one of my teachers who I loved a lot was a physicist and I was trying to imitate her in order to become similar to her in the future. We should always remember that one of the most important tasks of teachers is to assist students finding their real interests and talents in order to help them have a more prosperous future. Actually, encouraging the students and improving their skills in a specific area in order to assist them finding a proper job in the future is a very important role that teachers have and this may change student’s life greatly. Just imagine that if you were not finding about your capabilities during your education, how you would have trouble finding a desirable occupation. Another side of the coin, however, relates to the policy of the governments. I believe that governments try to communicate some ideas and beliefs to the society and the best place for this purpose is schools and universities. They train teachers in a way that they become capable of affecting the people around them. Take for instance some special ways of dressing or religious beliefs that these days are advertising enormously at the universities and by the professors and how you unintentionally have affected by their ideas and perspectives. In conclusion, whether teacher’s attitudes mimicked by students, or they assist students reaching their desirable position in the society, or they try to dictate some special kinds of perspectives, they could have considerable effects on people. So does not it seem that is more important to take care about communicating with a good teacher than to make a good friend?
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that friends are more influential in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
; I do
strongly
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a crucial role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
experiences. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finding
their talents and this is a great achievement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
, I believe that the policy of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
is in a way that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
they try to communicate their desirable values to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and they ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to do it for them.

Doubtless,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
try to imitate someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they
really
respect and admire and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have the great chance for this selection since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them every day.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and since they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
year experiences of facing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have divers kinds of personalities, they have the capability to attract the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. An example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this issue; I remember the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision to choose my future major. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I chose physics as may major since one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
a lot was a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
physicist and
I was trying to imitate her in order to become similar to her in the future.

We should always remember that one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tasks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finding
their real interests and talents in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have a more prosperous future. Actually, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and improving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in a specific area in order to assist them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finding
a proper job in the future is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have and this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
greatly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
imagine that if you were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finding
about your capabilities during your education, how you would have trouble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finding
a desirable occupation.

Another side of the coin,
however
, relates to the policy of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
try to communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and beliefs to the society and the best place for this purpose is schools and universities. They train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in a way that they become capable of affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them. Take
for instance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special ways of dressing or religious beliefs that these days are advertising
enormously
at the universities and by the professors and how you
unintentionally
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and perspectives.

In conclusion
, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher’s
attitudes mimicked by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, or they assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reaching their desirable position in the society, or they try to dictate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special kinds of perspectives, they could have considerable effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
does not it
Did you mean "seems"?
seem
that is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take care about communicating with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friend?
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends. v. 681

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
480 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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