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For most people, when they get their first job they have little Idea whether or not they will remain in the same organisation through out their working life If they decided to change, they need to consider how this will impact on their career overall. v.2

For most people, when they get their first job they have little Idea whether or not they will remain in the same organisation through out their working life If they decided to change, they need to consider how this will impact on their career overall. v. 2
Hardworking is more necessary for everyone. People who stay with same organisation have the advantages of thought-out understanding how it works and also becoming familiar with the staff and employs. if they work hard, their promotion prospects are good, and there are likely to be grater job security, with the promise of a good pension. subsequently, then they got additive incentive to long term employs including bonuses, and record scheme. Firstly, one of the drawbacks of staying with same organisation, is that the person may get stuck doing the same job. However, year after year in case of of moving away from gain more skills and more organised projects. Because these type of person doing only one job as professional. As well as person are lack from additional knowledge. Basically, That everyone achieves plenty of knowledge related to any field, and site After that, they have lot of imposition, and achieve success easily in his life.
Hardworking is more necessary for everyone.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who stay with same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
have the advantages of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-out understanding how it works and
also
becoming familiar with the staff and employs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, their promotion prospects are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and there are likely to be grater job security, with the promise of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pension.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
subsequently
, then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
additive incentive to long term employs including bonuses, and record scheme.

Firstly
, one of the drawbacks of staying with same
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, is that the person may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck doing the same job.
However
, year after year in case
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
moving away from gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
projects.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these type of person doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one job as professional.
As well
as person are lack from additional knowledge.

Basically
, That everyone achieves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of knowledge related to any field, and site After that, they have
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
imposition, and achieve success
easily
in his life.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay For most people, when they get their first job they have little Idea whether or not they will remain in the same organisation through out their working life If they decided to change, they need to consider how this will impact on their career overall. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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