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Some people say that self-esteem employment is better than working for a company or institution. Discuss both point of view. What is your opinion. v.2

Some people say that self-esteem employment is better than working for a company or institution. What is your opinion. v. 2
" Money is not only the answer but it makes a difference" In the current time of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns is regarding the given topic that which works is better; self - employment or works in other company, institute? I shall explore the same from various aspects in the following paragraphs. If we look both side of the argument, that which is depends upon person thinking through their working process. On one side, the person have own business that is more better from other because they took own discussion according to requirement. Moreover, that is person no any of anyone. Although, they decided by own wish furthermore, this type of person is make discussion maker person. Afterthat, they gives the order to they employees related working process. On moving, for instance, survey is conducted by NIC company about self employed is much better rather than works in any others company through this survey people awareness about self employment benefit On other hand, the person which doing the job according to they standard they do works through it people on less responsibility subsequently, people have spend more time; family and friends. Furthermore, they are spending lot of time for enjoy upon any holiday as well as after closing time of job because have not any burden about job work. Regarding, for epitome, A survey is conducted by Indian government about doing the into national, local company is much more better because people have not any like of stress, worries, tension for works. Although, they aware to people for doing the work into multinational as well as institute. That all survey for motivate people about their professional work.
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
; Money is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the answer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
difference&quot
; In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of technological advancement, one of the most pressing concerns is regarding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic that which works
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
; self
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
employment or works in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, institute? I shall explore the same from various aspects in the following paragraphs.

If we look both side of the argument, that which is depends upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
thinking through their working process.

On one side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business
that is
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
discussion according to requirement.
Moreover
,
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any of anyone. Although, they decided by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wish
furthermore
, this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
discussion maker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Afterthat
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "give"
gives
the order to
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they employees
related working process. On moving,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is conducted
by NIC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
about
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
is much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
rather
than works in any others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
awareness about self employment
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
benefit


On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
which doing the job according to they standard they do works through it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on less responsibility
subsequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use past participle here: "spent".
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
; family and friends.
Furthermore
, they are spending
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for enjoy upon any holiday
as well
as after closing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
have not any burden about job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Regarding, for epitome, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
is conducted
by Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
about doing the into national, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have not any like of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, worries, tension for works. Although, they aware to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for doing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
into multinational
as well
as institute. That all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
survey
for motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people say that self-esteem employment is better than working for a company or institution. What is your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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