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For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. v. 1
The past is always the past for the things which went wrong in the past. But based on the old experience we can live a better life in the present. I agree in some instances Learning about the past has no value but not for all. In this essay, I will explain about the reasons to support my opinion based on my knowledge. As per my experience there were good and bad things in the past. Coming to good situations in the past was becoming memories in the present life. Whenever people feel they are not comfortable for the day they can grab those thoughts and come back easily. For example, whenever I have felt got stressed then I close my eyes and remember my kid smile. It gives boost up to me and helpful to get better thoughts. On the other side, the bad things happened in the past some of them are needed to erase from the brain And few of them we can use to avoid those in the coming days. The people have to realize the situation and have to decide which one has to carry forward and which are not. If you want to recall the life from the bad situation there are two ways. Firstly, forget about that and start the new life. Secondly, Use that thing as an experience and build your life on top of it. Likewise second point happened in my life. I was failed in the Intermediate education and all of my relatives smiled at my face even the people who have not cleared their tenth standard questioned me. In the second attempt I have completed the exam. Later on, my studies whenever I go for the exam I just remind myself about my bad experience and use that to succeed in other studies. I did complete all my studies with no backlogs after my Intermediate education. In conclusion, As per my experience and knowledge, no need to remove all the things happened in the past in the present. Decide the things which will helpful to handle the situation in the future and take them with you in the present.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
is always the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
for the things which went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
based on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
instances Learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
has no value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for all. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the reasons to support my opinion based on my knowledge.

As per my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Coming to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
was becoming memories in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Whenever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel they are not comfortable for the day they can grab those thoughts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back
easily
.
For example
, whenever I have felt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
then I close my eyes and remember my kid smile. It gives boost up to me and helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better thoughts.

On the other side, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
things happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are needed
to erase from the brain And few of them we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to avoid those in the coming days. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
realize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide which one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
carry forward and which are not.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
you want to recall the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
there are two ways.
Firstly
, forget about that and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
that thing as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and build your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on top of it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
second point happened in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
was failed
in the Intermediate education and all of my relatives smiled at my face even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have not cleared their tenth standard questioned me. In the second attempt I have completed the exam. Later on, my studies whenever I go for the exam I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
remind myself about my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that to succeed in other studies. I did complete all my studies with no backlogs after my Intermediate education.

In conclusion
, As per my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and knowledge, no need to remove all the things happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. Decide the things which will helpful to handle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in the future and take them with you in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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