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For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. v. 3
The human being works consistently hard in the modern life. According to a number of people, the reason is that individuals want to get money. I partly agree with this view and this essay will discuss whether people work hard for only money or not. On the one hand, money plays entirely a significant role in working hard. People consistently endeavour to work hard so that they can get not only more money but also high amounts of rewards. For example, most companies provide people with special rewards if they work very productive regularly. Thus, people try to be hard-working in order to get those rewards. On the other hand, there is another important factor associated with being hard-working at the workplace. Some people, who have a passion for their job, always try to be hard-working and give your best in their task irrespective of expecting any special reward because they want to feel satisfied and confident with the task which they complete successfully. For instance, studies have concluded that there is a positive link between feeling self-confident and being successful in a task which require to be worked hard. Therefore, many people give passionately their best in a job in order to achieve the high level of self-confidence. In conclusion, many people work hard due to several reasons. I partly agree with the view that money is an important factor in the level of working hard, and also I believe that a sense of self-confidence and the passion for a job is equally a determinant factor.
The human being works
consistently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
in the modern life. According to a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the reason is that individuals want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view and this essay will discuss whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or not.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays
entirely
a significant role in working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
consistently
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
high amounts of rewards.
For example
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with special rewards if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
productive
regularly
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
those rewards.

On the other hand
, there is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor associated with being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working at the workplace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have a passion for their job, always try to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working and give your best in their task irrespective of expecting any special reward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to feel satisfied and confident with the task which they complete
successfully
.
For instance
, studies have concluded that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
link between feeling self-confident and being successful in a task which require to
be worked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give
passionately
their best in a job in order to achieve the high level of self-confidence.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
due to several reasons. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in the level of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, and
also
I believe that a sense of self-confidence and the passion for a job is
equally
a determinant factor.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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