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Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion. v.8

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 8
Computers have come into our lives quite long and sustainably, making fundamental changes to the world and our capabilities, especially in the field of education. Some people believe that computers brought many benefits, while others have an opposite opinion about it. In this essay, I will discuss both views of this argument and state my opinion toward this trend. On the one hand, computers are playing a vital role in students’ life. This tool provides information by searching. By this, students can only learn the knowledge hypothetically, but with the help of videos and graphs, they can easily understand it. It helps students by providing them different techniques to analyse and present data as it is connecting every to world web. It is convenient to carry anywhere. Let's take an example of developing countries, most student can't get permission from their parents for higher studies, it can provide a platform for online education to such students. Nevertheless, computers seem bring drawbacks to students’ health. First, most students spend their maximum time by using this, thus, this causes eye strain and reduces sharpness of vision. Some students often feel backache because of a different kind of posture. But the major problem with this is that it is teacher – students interaction. The bond between student and teacher is more limited than face-to-face. Despite this, teacher – students connection is still possible through the internet. For instance, Zoom or Meet can help easier online studying than ever. To conclude, in my view, there are some negative consequences of computers, but the positive effect can not be ignored. I strongly believe if we use this device wisely, it can provide a lot of opportunities to students for better education.
Computers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
quite long and
sustainably
, making fundamental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the world and our capabilities,
especially
in the field of education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that computers brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, while others have an opposite opinion about it. In this essay, I will discuss both views of this argument and state my opinion toward this trend.

On the one hand, computers are playing a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
life. This tool provides information by searching. By this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn the knowledge
hypothetically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of videos and graphs, they can
easily
understand it. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
by providing them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
techniques to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
and present data as it is connecting every to world web. It is convenient to carry anywhere.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take an example of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission from their parents for higher studies, it can provide a platform for online education to such students.

Nevertheless
, computers
Probably a preposition is missing after 'seem'.
seem bring
drawbacks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
health.
First
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend their maximum time by using this,
thus
, this causes eye strain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
sharpness of vision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel backache
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of posture.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the major problem with this is that it is teacher
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
interaction. The bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and teacher is more limited than face-to-face. Despite this, teacher
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
connection is
still
possible through the internet.
For instance
, Zoom or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Meet
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
easier online studying than ever.

To conclude
, in my view, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of computers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. I
strongly
believe if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this device
wisely
, it can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for better education.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say that this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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