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Food travels thousands of miles from producers to customers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people only eat the local food produced by farmers. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Food travels thousands of miles from producers to customers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people only eat the local food produced by farmers. v. 1
Nowadays, the majority of the constructions in cities are thoroughly planned to better facilitate the inhabitants. Different and distinct sites are allocated for residential areas, market, hospitals, schools and offices. Such planned developments make the city more manageable. However, it comes at the cost of increased travel time and cost to the residents. But in my opinion, the benefits of the segregated zones outweigh the demerits. A planned city is always a better place to live in because of the better managed developments. People can enjoy the serenity of a healthy living, as commercial sites are located far from the residences. Children can play in the parks free from commercial pollution. For example, every big city in Pakistan has its separate industrial zone to better carry out the commercial operations and keep people safe from any hazardous effects. Similarly, factories can also function to their fullest, even with night shifts, as they are not bound by the far located housing facilities. Thus, a well-thought map of the city with proper space allocations brings many benefits for the inhabitants as well for the business personnel. However, with the admirable benefits of a mapped city comes the problem of long commutes for the residents. As schools and offices are located at distant sites from the housing complexes, it adds on the time and effort to reach. Similarly, the labourers who work at minimal wages cannot afford to travel daily to the work site. They want shelters in the vicinity of the factory, they are working for. However, many industrial units have resolved this matter by building accommodations for its workers within the industrial boundary. To illustrate, Pioneer Cement Plant is located at few kilometres from the small city of Jauharabad, Pakistan. It has its own residential area for the employees who have come to work here from different parts of the region. Hence, in many instances, this negative aspect of the distant located work sites is countered by the reputable companies, which also improves their production. To recapitulate, though a well-thought map of the city adds to people’s inconvenience in terms of travel time and fuel expense to reach different daily destinations like home, school and office, the benefits it brings in the form a calm, healthy and managed living out shadows the related disadvantages. Additionally, it also benefits the commercial organizations in terms of operations and productivity.
Nowadays, the majority of the constructions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are
thoroughly
planned to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
facilitate the inhabitants.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
and distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are allocated
for residential areas, market, hospitals, schools and offices. Such planned developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the city more manageable.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
at the cost of increased travel time and cost to the residents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of the segregated zones outweigh the demerits.

A planned city is always a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
managed developments.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can enjoy the serenity of a healthy living, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
far from the residences. Children can play in the parks free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
pollution.
For example
, every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city in Pakistan has its separate industrial zone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
carry out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
operations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
safe from any hazardous effects.
Similarly
, factories can
also
function to their fullest, even with night shifts, as they are not bound by the far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
housing facilities.
Thus
, a well-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
map of the city with proper space allocations brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for the inhabitants
as well
for the business personnel.

However
, with the admirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of a mapped city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
the problem of long commutes for the residents. As schools and offices are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
at distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
from the housing complexes, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
on the time and effort to reach.
Similarly
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at minimal wages cannot afford to travel daily to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
. They want shelters in the vicinity of the factory, they are working for.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrial units have resolved this matter by building accommodations for its workers within the industrial boundary. To illustrate, Pioneer Cement Plant is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
at few
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Jauharabad
, Pakistan. It has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
residential area for the employees who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
here from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the region.
Hence
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances, this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspect of the distant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
located
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is countered
by the reputable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their production.

To recapitulate, though a well-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
map of the city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s inconvenience in terms of travel time and fuel expense to reach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
daily destinations like home, school and office, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
it brings in the form a calm, healthy and managed living out shadows the related disadvantages.
Additionally
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
organizations in terms of operations and productivity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Food travels thousands of miles from producers to customers. Some people think it would be better for the environment and economy if people only eat the local food produced by farmers. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
396 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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