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Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2
Due to globalization, it is now quite easy for the people to purchase food items from their nearby markets. Some people think that food should be bought directly from farmers, as this would be beneficial for both the environment and the locals. The benefits of this idea exceed the drawbacks, as discussed in this essay. Firstly, during the process of transportation from farms to consumers, the food products undergo various modifications which alter their freshness. For example, in order to preserve the taste and essence of fruits and vegetables, some vendors use artificial shining sprays over them. Although, this increases the sell of these products, as they look more attractive and smell tasty, but they lose their natural taste and nutrients during this alteration. Moreover, farmers are not paid the actual amount of money which they deserve. This is because, they are double-crossed and blackmailed by the goods dealers that they would not help them transfer their products and would leave them to rot, if they ask for more money. On the other hand, if people buy food directly from farms they would be able to get them in the most nutritious form. For instance, buying dairy products and poultry items from farms, protects the people from the unhealthy materials used during processing of such items. Furthermore, this would immensely boost the economy of local businesses. Additionally, less vehicles used during travelling of food means, there would be less consumption of fuel and a decrease in air pollution. To sum up, if customers start buying food from the local farmers, they could be hugely benefited from the healthy and pure products, as they would stay away from the hazards of artificial sweeteners and paints. Similarly, the farmers get an advantage of improving their living standards and the environment also stays clean, due to the decrease in heavy traffic on roads.
Due to globalization, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
quite easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
items from their nearby markets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
directly
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
, as this would be beneficial for both the environment and the locals. The benefits of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
exceed the drawbacks, as discussed in this essay.

Firstly
, during the process of transportation from farms to consumers, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
undergo various modifications which alter their freshness.
For example
, in order to preserve the taste and essence of fruits and vegetables,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vendors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
artificial shining sprays over them. Although, this increases the sell of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, as they look more attractive and smell tasty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they lose their natural taste and nutrients during this alteration.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
are not paid the actual amount of money which they deserve. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are double-crossed and blackmailed by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
dealers that they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them transfer their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
them to rot, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
more money.

On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
directly
from farms they would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them in the most nutritious form.
For instance
, buying dairy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and poultry items from farms, protects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the unhealthy materials
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
during processing of such items.
Furthermore
, this would
immensely
boost the economy of local businesses.
Additionally
,
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun vehicles is countable.
less
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
during travelling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
means, there would be less consumption of fuel and a decrease in air pollution.

To sum up, if customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
, they could be
hugely
benefited from the healthy and pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, as they would stay away from the hazards of artificial sweeteners and paints.
Similarly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an advantage of improving their living standards and the environment
also
stays clean, due to the decrease in heavy traffic on roads.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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