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It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.7

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. with this opinion? v. 7
Some people believe that, instead of renovating the old buildings, we can invest the same money to build modern ones. I strongly agree with this statement. In my Opinion, I believe, rather than spending too much on the old for repair and to look after it, we can construct a new building which will last for the another decade of years. On one hand the government is spending a lot of fund in renovating the older constructions, however, this cannot provide a long-term solution to the problem. In addition, since the building basements were constructed before years, probably, it might have lost its strength and durability. Moreover, when the council takes additional measures to look after the buildings, it is going to turn into a hassle to the society. For example, when we are fixing the old building which is located in the centre of the city, the places around the buildings such as the schools, hospitals are of high risk, since the building has no guarantee in the basement and it could collapse at any time. As a result, spending more money on old buildings are not advisable. On the other hand, new buildings with strong base can be constructed in the same funds. This approach, might take some additional time and effort, to complete the project. But, they are going to stay stronger for another hundred's of years. Once constructed, we need not spend them on again. For instance, constructing a new study place like the park, museum, shopping malls can also become a place for individual attraction. Therefore, constructing a new building is welcomed by everyone and even it will be loved by mankind due to the new modern constructions. To conclude, In my opinion, I strongly trust, the nation should not be interested in reforming the outdated stores rather than they should invest the same in new style buildings. This implementation can avoid the old building getting collapsed and it also leads the way to the new environment with new technologies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that,
instead
of renovating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, we can invest the same money to build modern ones. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. In my Opinion, I believe,
rather
than spending too much on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
for repair and to look after it, we can construct a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
which will last for the another decade of years.

On one hand the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
fund in renovating the older constructions,
however
, this cannot provide a long-term solution to the problem.
In addition
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
basements
were constructed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
years,
probably
, it might have lost its strength and durability.
Moreover
, when the council takes additional measures to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, it is going to turn into a hassle to the society.
For example
, when we are fixing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
which
is located
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the city, the places around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as the schools, hospitals are of high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
has no guarantee in the basement and it could collapse at any time.
As a result
, spending more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are not advisable.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with strong base can
be constructed
in the same funds. This approach, might take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional time and effort, to complete the project.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, they are going to stay stronger for another hundred's of years. Once constructed, we need not spend them on again.
For instance
, constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
study place like the park, museum, shopping malls can
also
become a place for individual attraction.
Therefore
, constructing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is welcomed
by everyone and even it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
by mankind due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
modern constructions.

To conclude
, In my opinion, I
strongly
trust, the nation should not
be interested
in reforming the outdated stores
rather
than they should invest the same in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. This implementation can avoid the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
getting collapsed and it
also
leads the way to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
environment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technologies.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. with this opinion? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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