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Food travels in thousands of miles from farm to the consumers. Many people think eating food from local people would be benificial to the environment and the economy. Do the advantages of eating local food outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Food travels in thousands of miles from farm to the consumers. Many people think eating food from local people would be benificial to the environment and the economy. Do the advantages of eating local food outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
Recently there has been much interest in gaining a better understanding of the importance of public libraries in the contemporary world. Some people feel that the library is not worth anymore, however, I agree with those who are of the opinion that the library is a crucial part of many society members. In this essay, I will explain the rationale for both viewpoints as well as adduce all the arguments which might support my own belief. Those who espouse the former opinion claim that the libraries are a waste of public money. The proponents of this view maintain that all the materials such as books, magazines, and newspapers are available online and can be easily accessible via handheld gadgets. As a result, many of these library materials are just facilitated for the showcase purpose rather than someone using it and these costs an enormous amount of money. Maybe there is some truth in this claim, and some empirical evidence can be provided to support it. For instance, a 2007 study conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 80% of the libraries were closed in the USA because few people used to visit the library and the cost of running them was much higher than maintaining the public transportation. Nevertheless, one can argue that there is more to the story than this research tells. Personally, I firmly believe that public library in a town is a crucial place for many youth in the area. In other words, these students use this public service to focus on their studies because they get distracted at home due to technical devices namely TV, computer, and mobile phone. If these younger generation visit to library for their education, they will be restricted to use those technical equipments. Hence, they will be able to focus on their studies. My friend, Tina, is a shining example of this. She used to get lower marks in the exam because she used to study at home while other members of her family were watching TV shows. One day, she decided to start leveraging public library, and before she knew it, she improved her academic performance in many subjects. In conclusion, although library resources may cost the government to maintain, nonetheless, I still hold to the opinion that it is a valuable place for many adolescents to focus on their education.
Recently there has been much interest in gaining a better understanding of the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries in the contemporary world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that the library is not worth anymore,
however
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who are of the opinion that the library is a crucial part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
society members. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the rationale for both viewpoints
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
adduce all the arguments which might support my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
belief.

Those who espouse the former opinion claim that the libraries are a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
money. The proponents of this view maintain that all the materials such as books, magazines, and newspapers are available online and can be
easily
accessible via handheld gadgets.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these library materials are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
facilitated for the showcase purpose
rather
than someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
using
it and these costs an enormous amount of money. Maybe there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth in this claim, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
empirical evidence can
be provided
to support it.
For instance
, a 2007
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conducted by a team of researchers at the University of Toronto found that 80% of the libraries
were closed
in the USA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to visit the library and the cost of running them was much higher than maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.

Nevertheless
, one can argue that there is more to the story than this research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
.
Personally
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library in a town is a crucial place for
Possible agreement error. The noun youth seems to be countable; consider using: "many youths".
many youth
in the area.
In other words
, these students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
service to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted at home due to technical devices
namely
TV, computer, and mobile phone. If these younger generation visit to library for their education, they will
be restricted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
those technical equipments.
Hence
, they will be able to focus on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. My friend, Tina, is a shining example of this. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lower marks in the exam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at home while other members of her family were watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. One day, she decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
leveraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
she knew it, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
her academic performance in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects.

In conclusion
, although library resources may cost the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to maintain, nonetheless, I
still
hold to the opinion that it is a valuable place for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adolescents to focus on their education.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Food travels in thousands of miles from farm to the consumers. Many people think eating food from local people would be benificial to the environment and the economy. Do the advantages of eating local food outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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