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Food travels thousand of miles before it reaches customers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

Food travels thousand of miles before it reaches customers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Today, the world laws of supply and demand dictate the amount of distance food needs to travel before its consumption. Some areas are geographically favourable for the production of certain types of food. However, it is argued that food needs to travel hundereds of miles to reach consumers. I think it is a positive trend, because it bestows cultural and economical growth to nations. Firstly, trading food to other countries can provide eveidence of cultural amalgamation world over, and it is a positive thing. For example, Japanese sushi, once regarded as oddity in many American circles, is now consumed as regularly as other dishes in the United States. It is felt culinary exchanges such as this are proof of ongoing international growth towards united culture. Also, such kind of practices bring with them understanding, tolerance and peace, thus, it is obvious how this trade helps improve cultural experience internationally. Secondly, when food is sold to other nations, it provides employment opportunities globally. For instance, worldly growing demand for coffe has put Columbia in advantageous state due to its geographical position and emmence coffee production. Coffe can travel over long distances without being spoiled, endeavoring columbians jobs in sales and the transportation. Hence, positive results that come after foodstuff's travelling huge distances can be seen. In conclusion, after analyzing how edibles permitted to be sold around the world help to create cultural understanding and economical development of nations, it becomes clear it has more benefits than drawbacks. Therefore, it is hoped multinational trade of eatables continues to grow in foreseeable future.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the world laws of supply and demand dictate the amount of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
needs to travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
its consumption.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
areas are
geographically
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
for the production of certain types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
However
, it
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
needs to travel
Possible spelling mistake found.
hundereds
of miles to reach consumers. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it bestows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth to nations.

Firstly
, trading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to other countries can provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
eveidence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
amalgamation world over, and it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing.
For example
, Japanese sushi, once regarded as oddity in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
American circles, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
consumed as
regularly
as other dishes in the United States. It
is felt
culinary exchanges such as this are proof of ongoing international growth towards united culture.
Also
, such kind of practices bring with them understanding, tolerance and peace,
thus
, it is obvious how this trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
experience
internationally
.

Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is sold
to other nations, it provides employment opportunities globally.
For instance
, worldly growing demand for
Possible spelling mistake found.
coffe
has put Columbia in advantageous state due to its geographical position and
Possible spelling mistake found.
emmence
coffee production.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Coffe
can travel over long distances without
being spoiled
, endeavoring
Possible spelling mistake found.
columbians
jobs in sales and the transportation.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
after foodstuff's travelling huge distances can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.

In conclusion
, after analyzing how edibles permitted to
be sold
around the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
understanding and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
development of nations, it becomes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
it has more benefits than drawbacks.
Therefore
, it
is hoped
multinational trade of eatables continues to grow in foreseeable future.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Food travels thousand of miles before it reaches customers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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