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People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Should students be taught public speaking at school? v.5

People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Should students be taught public speaking at school? v. 5
Public speaking is an art that requires lots of courage, confidence and will-power. Most of the people lack in this skill because of its challenging and daring type of nature. Some of the schools have made it a mandatory constituent of learning because of its importance in practical lives. Presentation plays a pivotal role in career development both at school and in office. Researchers at universities used this technique to convey their ideas and findings; their grip on this skill is susceptible to success. The better they are in public speaking, the more changes to convince and satisfy to their audience. Furthermore, many sales companies hired good presenters in order to boost up the sale of their products. Successful agents get lots of incentives in term of money and gift from their employers. There is no doubt that children are more opted toward learning in their childhood. Early training of public speaking would help in reducing their shyness and build confidence to face people. The continuity of this training in later classes will help to achieve their lofty ambitions of public speaking. This will enable them to stand and deliver anywhere. However, sometimes it also deterrent the growth of the student. A large number of students show menace while performing this activity. To sum up, I would like to say that presentation should be a must activity in schools. It will not only help in prevailing student confidence but also ensure their success in their future lives, Parents and teachers should encourage children to participate in these assignments and work to overcome their problems in this regard.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
speaking is an art that requires lots of courage, confidence and will-power. Most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lack in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its challenging and daring type of nature.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
schools have made it a mandatory constituent of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its importance in practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Presentation plays a pivotal role in career development both at school and in office. Researchers at universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
this technique to convey their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and findings; their grip on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is susceptible to success. The better they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking, the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to convince and satisfy to their audience.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
hired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
presenters in order to boost up the sale of their products. Successful agents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lots of incentives in term of money and gift from their employers.

There is no doubt that children are more opted toward learning in their childhood. Early training of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing their shyness and build confidence to face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The continuity of this training in later classes will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to achieve their lofty ambitions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
speaking. This will enable them to stand and deliver anywhere.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
also
deterrent the growth of the student.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
menace while performing this activity.

To sum up, I would like to say that presentation should be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
activity in schools. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in prevailing student confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ensure their success in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, Parents and teachers should encourage children to participate in these assignments and work to overcome their problems in this regard.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay People find it very difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skill is really important? Should students be taught public speaking at school? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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