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Food can be produced more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery. However, some people argue that such development may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Food can be produced more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery. However, some people argue that such development may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. v. 1
There is a growing concern as the standard weight of individuals in few nations is rising while the levels of well-being and health are diminishing. In my opinion, several causes such as diet, and lifestyle can be attributed to this problem, although solutions to the same will be discussed in this essay. For human beings the Body Mass Index or BMI is of vital importance, as it determines the physical health of a person. Mankind is programmed to have feelings of hunger, and thirst due to which he consumes food. On a regular basis this may not seem worrisome, however constant consumption without control is a matter of concern. In current scenarios, overeating is becoming a global trend. For instance, America has a majority of obese people, and the blame is placed on fast food joints. Obesity has become the most grievous disease experienced by people in wealthy countries. The reasons are due to the availability of lavish foods, and sugary drinks people are unable to control their diet. They consume as much as they can, and even more. For example, people on a cruise are relaxing while filling their bellies with junk that will make them suffer later. Obese people find it difficult to monitor healthy body weight hence they end up with numerous body problems, or worst of them all heart attacks! The scientist has often pointed out that soft drinks, burgers, and pizzas for youth, and children make them lethargic. When these adolescents grow up they follow the same food routine. Nonetheless, this attitude cannot be carried out, as health is the basic requirement to stay alive. The solution to this problem is exercise. The act of swimming, gardening, cooking etc. Will help keep the body active. An active body loses out on the calories stacked up by the food one consumes. Another solution is monitoring one's diet. A simple plan to eat healthy can do wonders to the physical and mental health of a human being. In conclusion, it is necessary to take precautionary measures towards health before it's too late.
There is a growing concern as the standard weight of individuals in few nations is rising while the levels of well-being and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
are diminishing. In my opinion, several causes such as diet, and lifestyle can
be attributed
to this problem, although solutions to the same will
be discussed
in this essay.

For human beings the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Body
Mass Index or BMI is of vital importance, as it determines the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of a person. Mankind
is programmed
to have feelings of hunger, and thirst due to which he consumes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. On a regular basis this may not seem worrisome,
however
constant consumption without control is a matter of concern. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenarios, overeating is becoming a global trend.
For instance
, America has a majority of obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and the blame
is placed
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
joints. Obesity has become the most grievous disease experienced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in wealthy countries. The reasons are due to the availability of lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, and sugary drinks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to control their diet. They consume as much as they can, and even more.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on a cruise are relaxing while filling their bellies with junk that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them suffer later. Obese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it difficult to monitor healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
weight
hence
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
problems, or worst of them all heart attacks! The scientist has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pointed out that soft drinks, burgers, and pizzas for youth, and children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them lethargic.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
these adolescents grow up they follow the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
routine. Nonetheless, this attitude cannot
be carried
out, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the basic requirement to stay alive.

The solution to this problem is exercise. The act of swimming, gardening, cooking etc. Will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
active. An active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
loses out on the calories stacked up by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
one consumes. Another solution is monitoring one's diet. A simple plan to eat healthy can do wonders to the physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of a human being.

In conclusion
, it is necessary to take precautionary measures towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it's too late.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Food can be produced more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery. However, some people argue that such development may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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