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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.3

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 3
Financial knowledge becomes more important than the past. Therefore, some people believe financial education should be a compulsory subject of the school curriculum. This essay will discuss why this essay totally agrees with this statement and explains why financial education should be a compulsory subject. On the on hand, some people don't know about financial enough, hence, a lack of financial knowledge become a serious problem these days. There are some negative effects of the lack of financial knowledge. Firstly, those people don't know how to plan to save their pensions. Therefore, some people don't have a pension after evacuation. For example, some people have to spend their money on useless things without saving for retirement because they don't know about financial benefits. On the other hand, some people, who have financial wisdom, can plan to save cash for pullout. For instance, they save 20% of income for retirement. In addition, some people invest money on health insurance, they get a big cash after retirement. On top of that, those people invest their money on funding, it can make a lot of money for a short time. That are the reasons why financial education should be a compulsory subject. As a result, children can learn how to save money for any situations. Moreover, they can learn how to monetize from the money that they saved. In conclusion, Financial study should become a compulsory subject these days, all students should learn about it. This is because there many benefits of financial awareness, for example, students know how to save salary, in addition, students know how to use benefits of saving wealth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
knowledge becomes more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the past.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
subject of the school curriculum. This essay will discuss why this essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
subject.

On the on hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
,
hence
, a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
knowledge become a serious problem these days. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
knowledge.
Firstly
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their pensions.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
have a pension after evacuation.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on useless things without saving for retirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
benefits.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
wisdom, can plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
cash for pullout.
For instance
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
20% of income for retirement.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on health insurance, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cash after retirement.
On top of that
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on funding, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a short time. That are the reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
subject.
As a result
, children can learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for any situations.
Moreover
, they can learn how to monetize from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
that they saved.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Financial
study should become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compulsory
subject these days, all students should learn about it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
awareness,
for example
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
salary,
in addition
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
benefits of saving wealth.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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