Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience. v.2

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 2
More and more young adults in our country are heavily indebted. Thus, it is considered by some that it should be mandatory to educate school children in the administration of cash. In my opinion, people should not leave school without a sound knowledge of financial management. To begin with, a country’s development is strongly dependant upon the purchasing capacity of its inhabitants. That is to say, people who are in debt or financially vulnerable, would not be able to spend freely or invest, for example, in a new house, thus hindering the economic growth of the country. As a consequence, the rate of inflation would rise and people would be able to afford even less, which could ultimately result in the collapse of the entire economy. A good example of this vicious circle can be seen in countries such as Argentina, where people have to buy household items on the black market, because they cannot afford to buy them in regular stores due to skyrocketing prices. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to teach children early in wealth management. Another point to consider is the low standard of living that people have when they mismanage their finances. Individuals who are constantly short of cash could eventually end up being socially isolated and unhappy, because they couldn’t afford to participate in leisure activities, such as going to the cinema with a friend, resulting in their withdraw from social life. However, this could be avoided with ease by offering courses in salary management. In conclusion, I strongly believe that school children should be taught how to manage their finances to prevent social isolation later in their life as well as to maintain the economic force of their country.
More and more young adults in our
country
are
heavily
indebted.
Thus
, it
is considered
by
some
that it should be mandatory to educate school children in the administration of cash. In my opinion,
people
should not
leave
school without a sound knowledge of financial management.

To
begin
with, a
country’s
development is
strongly
dependant
upon the purchasing capacity of its inhabitants.
That is
to say,
people
who are in debt or
financially
vulnerable, would not be able to spend
freely
or invest,
for example
, in a new
house
,
thus
hindering the economic growth of the
country
. As a consequence, the rate of inflation would rise and
people
would be able to afford even less, which could
ultimately
result in the collapse of the entire economy. A
good
example of this vicious circle can be
seen
in
countries
such as Argentina, where
people
have to
buy
household items on the black market,
because
they cannot afford to
buy
them in regular stores due to skyrocketing prices.
Therefore
, it is of utmost importance to teach children early in wealth management.

Another point to consider is the low standard of living that
people
have when they mismanage their finances. Individuals who are
constantly
short of cash could
eventually
end
up being
socially
isolated and unhappy,
because
they couldn’t afford to participate in leisure activities, such as going to the cinema with a friend, resulting in their
withdraw
from social life.
However
, this could
be avoided
with
ease
by offering courses in salary management.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that school children should
be taught
how to manage their finances to
prevent
social isolation later in their life
as well
as to maintain the economic force of their
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts