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Films can tell us a lot about the country in which they were made. What haveyou learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specific examplesand details to support your response. v.1

Films can tell us a lot about the country in which they were made. What haveyou learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specific examplesand details to support your response. v. 1
There is a fair amount of people who, only based on monetary factors to measure a success of a country. However, there are others who believe that there are other means of measuring a success, namely the advancement of technology, and the quality of its human resource. In my opinion, technology is the most crucial factor because of its role in advancing the development of other sectors. Technology has been evolving by leaps and bounds and providing many opportunities for a country to surpass others. One of the major contributions is that technology is used as infrastructure in all domain applications, regardless of its nature. For instance, in a developing country such as Singapore, tourist can already use smartphones to pay for transport, meals and even a parking ticket. Another example is how it boosts healthcare sector in introducing new approaches. This has been proven by many, one of which, is the improvement in minor surgery, surgeons, nowadays, does not need to cut across one's stomach to treat appendicitis. The quality of human resource also plays a crucial factor in a development. The quality of the people accelerates the adoption of technology which eventually speed up the development. For example, In Indonesia, it took some time to implement online taxation and for people to start using it, because of they are just not used to online filing. On the other hand, when Singapore implements digital payment, it is adopted without even realizing it. When a high quality of human resources is available, the adoption of technology is way faster. To conclude, it has been many years that financial standpoint is used as the sole factor, however I personally believe that technology will eventually be used as other complementing factors. Given this situation, it is recommended for governing bodies to start looking into other factors when grading a success
There is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
based on monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
to measure a success of a country.
However
, there are others who believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of measuring a success,
namely
the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of its human resource. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the most crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its role in advancing the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sectors.

Technology has been evolving by leaps and bounds and providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities for a country to surpass others. One of the major contributions is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as infrastructure in all domain applications, regardless of its nature.
For instance
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
such as Singapore, tourist can already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smartphones to pay for transport, meals and even a parking ticket. Another example is how it boosts healthcare sector in introducing new approaches. This has
been proven
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, one of which, is the improvement in minor surgery, surgeons, nowadays, does not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
across one's stomach to treat appendicitis.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of human resource
also
plays a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in a development. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
accelerates the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speed up
the development.
For example
, In Indonesia, it took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to implement online taxation and for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using it,
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to online filing. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when Singapore implements digital payment, it
is adopted
without even realizing it. When a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of human resources is available, the adoption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is way faster.

To conclude
, it has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years that financial standpoint is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as the sole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
,
however
I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will
eventually
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
complementing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, it
is recommended
for governing bodies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
looking into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
when grading a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
success
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Films can tell us a lot about the country in which they were made. What haveyou learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specific examplesand details to support your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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