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Films can tell us a lot about the country where they were made. Whathave you learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specificexamples and details to support your response. v.2

Films can tell us a lot about the country where they were made. Whathave you learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specificexamples and details to support your response. v. 2
Nowadays, a lot of people love to buy things on large malls in big cities rather than in small local shops in the town. While it has something beneficial to do with regards to the economic development of big cities, I personally think that it would impose a negative effect in the local towns, on the contrary. First, if people do not shop in local stores, there is a definite possibility that the owners of tiny businesses would incur a defeat in business as no one is patronizing the products being sold in the shop. The ones who are suffering with this kind of practice are the owners of small stores as the income will not suffice the operating expenses of the store, most especially the salary of the employees. For instance, in our hometown in Valencia, a lot of people do not buy locally made products in the public markets as they would rather choose to travel to big cities and purchase their needs there. Eventually, a lot of small stores have been closed due to this happening. In the event of small stores eventually shutting down, there is a huge probability that there will be no work be made available for the local residents. Again, the people are the ones who will most likely suffer as there will be no available income to afford the basic needs of the every individual, especially with food and basic shelter. To illustrate, persons who have no jobs, like in the Philippines, tend to just sleep along the road and search for food from scraps and garbage bins, which is quite pitiful. In conclusion, people who love to buy stuff from shopping centres in metro cities is quite alarming as it has a domino effect of affecting the mini-town's economy and individuals will eventually lose their jobs in the long run if it continues to happen.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things on large malls in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops in the town. While it has something beneficial to do
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
the economic development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would impose a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
towns,
on the contrary
.

First
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not shop in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
possibility that the owners of tiny businesses would incur a defeat in business as no one is patronizing the products
being sold
in the shop. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are suffering with this kind of practice are the owners of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
as the income will not suffice the operating expenses of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, most
especially
the salary of the employees.
For instance
, in our hometown in Valencia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
locally
made products in the public markets as they would
rather
choose to travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their needs there.
Eventually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
have
been closed
due to this happening.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
eventually
shutting down, there is a huge probability that there will be no work
be made
available for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
residents. Again, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
will most likely suffer as there will be no available income to afford the basic needs of the every individual,
especially
with food and basic shelter. To illustrate, persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have no jobs, like in the Philippines, tend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sleep along the road and search for food from scraps and garbage bins, which is quite pitiful.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stuff from shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in metro
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is quite alarming as it has a domino effect of affecting the mini-town's economy and individuals will
eventually
lose their jobs in the long run if it continues to happen.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Films can tell us a lot about the country where they were made. Whathave you learned about a country from watching its movies? Use specificexamples and details to support your response. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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