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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous? v.5

Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? v. 5
It is known for a fact that the lives of famous celebrities are full of glamour, success and huge money. Although, many of the renowned movie actors actually lead not happy lives. In this essay, why the lives of media stars is not as good as we imagined it to be and the side effect of being famous will be discussed. To begin with, celebrities do not tend to have too many friends within the industry they are working, this is primarily due to competition among peers. There are acquaintances, but there is no much depth in relationship as there is less emotional connection because of the fierce nature of the market. Secondly, the glamorous and polished life shown by the media, magazines does not show the emptiness and vacancy an individual feel after becoming rich and successful. Musicians and rock stars do not have much of personal freedom as they are in contract with record labels. For example, if Drake, a global rapper would want to perform outside the country or in a concert he needs to have that stipulated in the business contract between him and the company. Any kind of violation will have a lawsuit against him because they cannot take decisions on own as they are legally obliged. Another drawback of being a music performer or movie actor is that you have to stay away from your home because of the nature of their work. For instance, rock bands have their concerts and tours around the world where they perform, they have to stay at a hotel or any accommodation provided to them, which lacks the comforts of own home when you are travelling for a long period. Secondly, lives of celebrities in under the eye of the media, there is no privacy when cameramen follow you wherever you go, this definitely has a detrimental effect of one's peace of mind. In conclusion, it is not easy to live the life of a celebrity. Although, there are fame and money, but one has to sacrifice a lot of their personal freedom, choices and happiness for such status.
It
is known
for a fact that the
lives
of
famous
celebrities
are full of glamour, success and huge money.
Although
,
many
of the renowned movie actors actually lead not happy
lives
. In this essay, why the
lives
of media stars is not as
good
as we imagined it to be and the side effect of being
famous
will
be discussed
.

To
begin
with,
celebrities
do not tend to have too
many
friends within the industry they are working, this is
primarily
due to competition among peers. There are acquaintances,
but
there is
no
much depth in relationship as there is less emotional connection
because
of the fierce nature of the market.
Secondly
, the glamorous and polished life shown by the media, magazines does not
show
the emptiness and vacancy an individual feel after becoming rich and successful. Musicians and rock stars do not have much of personal freedom as they are in contract with record labels.
For example
, if Drake, a global rapper would want to perform outside the country or in a concert he needs to have that stipulated in the business contract between him and the
company
. Any kind of violation will have a lawsuit against him
because
they cannot take decisions on
own
as they are
legally
obliged.

Another drawback of being a music performer or movie actor is that you
have to
stay away from your home
because
of the nature of their work.
For instance
, rock bands have their concerts and tours around the world where they perform, they
have to
stay at a hotel or any accommodation provided to them, which lacks the comforts of
own
home when you are travelling for a long period.
Secondly
,
lives
of
celebrities
in under the eye of the media, there is no privacy when cameramen follow you wherever you go, this definitely has a detrimental effect of one's peace of mind.

In conclusion
, it is not easy to
live
the life of a
celebrity
. Although, there are fame and money,
but
one
has to
sacrifice
a lot of
their personal freedom, choices and happiness for such status.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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