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Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. v. 1
It is irrefutable that the world is becoming a part of the small global village, so this leads to a greater need for international cooperation between them. While some individuals believe that significant benefit is to protect the surrounding, others believe that it is international trade. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why global cooperation is more beneficial to world business rather than saving the environment. Global warming is increasing day-by-day. Thus, the primary goal should be to protect the environment. International cooperation does contribute to it because many governments have realised that it is a critical issue and has taken steps to aware individuals of simple steps to save the environment. For instance, the " Kyoto agreement " was signed by many countries in the united nation charter that they would not set up an industry, which would emit more than 5. 2 % carbon dioxide. Hence, preventive measures are taken to protect the environment. As the different parts of the world are getting globally together, the world business has played a significant role in it. The reason behind it is the communication has become a lot easier and companies have started to open a store in different parts of the world. For example, we can buy any foreign brands like rebook, and Nike in our country and our Indian brands like Videocon have touched international markets. Therefore, world business has increased a lot because of companies investment. In conclusion, international cooperation has helped the countries in several ways, such as concerning global warming and investment of companies. In my opinion, the primary benefit of this is on world business instead of protecting the environment but need to consider the situation as a primary concern and make strict rules to save it.
It is irrefutable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is becoming a part of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
global village,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this leads to a greater need for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
between them. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that significant benefit is to protect the surrounding, others believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
trade. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
rather
than saving the environment.

Global warming is increasing day-by-day.
Thus
, the primary goal should be to protect the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
does contribute to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
have
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
that it is a critical issue and has taken steps to aware individuals of simple steps to save the environment.
For instance
, the
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
Kyoto agreement
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
was signed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the united nation charter that they would not set up an industry, which would emit more than 5. 2 % carbon dioxide.
Hence
, preventive measures
are taken
to protect the environment.

As the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
are getting globally together, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has played a significant role in it. The reason behind it is the communication has become a lot easier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to open a store in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
any foreign brands like rebook, and Nike in our country and our Indian brands like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Videocon
have touched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
markets.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has increased a lot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
investment.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the countries in several ways, such as concerning global warming and investment of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In my opinion, the primary benefit of this is on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
instead
of protecting the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
need to consider the situation as a primary concern and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to save it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that the main interest is in world business. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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