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Fewer schools are requiring children to learn and improve their hand writing skills Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages of this trend v.1

Fewer schools are requiring children to learn and improve their hand writing skills Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages of this trend v. 1
A certain number of people believe that the government should not spend money on the arts because it can be used to serve some other useful purposes. In my opinion, financing for the arts is important because it helps to maintain the skills of an artist as well as generate a revenue for the ministry. Supporters of the idea put forth, that diverting funds towards arts hamper the national well being. These monetary resources could be used in the building of hospitals, schools, infrastructure and roads, which would improve the condition of the sick people and eradicate the poverty. In children, it would increase the literacy rate and for adult, it provides the various job opportunities. They consider art as a luxury and many governments cannot afford this extravagance. Thus, the authority should pay an attention to the issues related to the human welfare. On the other hand, allocating on the arts is equally important in order to disseminate the culture of a country all over the world. If some pieces of an art become famous all over the world, then it would lead to the economic growth of a country. For instance, India's famous artist "A. R Rehman" famous for its arts all over the world. Moreover, having a good economic condition of a country means automatically fulfilling all the basic needs of its citizens. But, if the government does not support these artists fiscally, they lose their confidence which would result into the lessening of their skills. Hence, it is a duty of the government to spend cash on the arts. To conclude, investments for sustenance of the arts is vital to helping the artists and spreading the culture of a nation over the overseas.
A certain number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should not spend money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other useful purposes. In my opinion, financing for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
as well
as generate a revenue for the ministry.

Supporters of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
put forth, that diverting funds towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
hamper the national
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
. These monetary resources could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the building of hospitals, schools, infrastructure and roads, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the condition of the sick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and eradicate the poverty. In children, it would increase the literacy rate and for adult, it provides the various job opportunities. They consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a luxury and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
cannot afford this extravagance.
Thus
, the authority should pay an attention to the issues related to the human welfare.

On the other hand
, allocating on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to disseminate the culture of a country all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pieces of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world, then it would lead to the economic growth of a country.
For instance
, India's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
A. R
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rehman
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world.
Moreover
, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economic condition of a country means
automatically
fulfilling all the basic needs of its citizens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not support these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
fiscally
, they lose their confidence which would result into the lessening of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Hence
, it is a duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to spend cash on the arts.

To conclude
, investments for sustenance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is vital to helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and spreading the culture of a nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the overseas.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Fewer schools are requiring children to learn and improve their hand writing skills Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantages of this trend v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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