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many museums charge for admission while other are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh its advantage? v.1

many museums charge for admission while other are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh its advantage? v. 1
Any person who is born with certain qualities might differ from the other counterparts. Some are of the view that nature has equipped males with more good than the other gender such as females. I certainly assert this opinion as men have been created with more physical and emotional endurance. To begin with, more physical strength has given to men by mother nature which makes them better than females in certain areas. This means males are empowered by strong bones and muscles which enable them to carry out work which demands considerable amount of physical efforts. Additionally, they can easily continue or execute the task for stretched hours without even taking a break. For example, men can usually be seen working as mansion or drivers which needs physical resilience, and often eat or take a break when they finish the task. Furthermore, most of the men are gifted by nature with the mental power which enable them to handle any sort of emotional situation. This means they can combat almost any depressed emotional feelings by applying their rational approach and safeguard themselves from any mental psychological traumas. For example, when a man faces any hard situation in life such as losing parents or getting divorced, they usually tackle the same with more ease comparatively then women. To conclude, every person is different in terms of natural qualities which is why men are superlative than women as they possess high physical and mental capabilities. Thus, they often handle almost every tough situation using their physical capacity and by applying rational thinking.
Any person who
is born
with certain qualities might differ from the other counterparts.
Some
are of the view that nature has equipped males with more
good
than the other gender such as females. I
certainly
assert this opinion as
men
have
been created
with more
physical
and emotional endurance.

To
begin
with, more
physical
strength has
given
to
men
by mother nature which
makes
them better than females in certain areas. This means males
are empowered
by strong bones and muscles which enable them to carry out work which demands considerable amount of
physical
efforts.
Additionally
, they can
easily
continue or execute the task for stretched hours without even taking a break.
For example
,
men
can
usually
be
seen
working as mansion or drivers which needs
physical
resilience, and
often
eat or take a break when they finish the task.

Furthermore
, most of the
men
are gifted
by nature with the mental power which enable them to handle any sort of emotional situation. This means they can combat almost any depressed emotional feelings by applying their rational approach and safeguard themselves from any mental psychological traumas.
For example
, when a
man
faces any
hard
situation in life such as losing parents or getting divorced, they
usually
tackle the same with more
ease
comparatively
then women.

To conclude
, every person is
different
in terms of natural qualities which is why
men
are superlative than women as they possess high
physical
and mental capabilities.
Thus
, they
often
handle almost every tough situation using their
physical
capacity and by applying rational thinking.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay many museums charge for admission while other are free do you think the advantage of charging people for admission to museum outweigh its advantage? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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