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Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v.5

Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 5
One of the most topical issues in modern society is the increasing number of criminals. It is often said that imprisonment for longer times is the only route to combat the number of offenders, however, others believe that there are many solutions to tackle this issue. In this easy, I will discuss both sides of the contentious arguments and provide my own perspective. Generally speaking, there is a wide range of reasons why people believe that longer imprisonment is really necessary to lessen the crime rates. Perhaps the main reason why people in favour of this trend is, that it will act as a warning by law that any antisocial and offence acts are intolerable and unacceptable. For an instance, life imprisonment and capital punishment are pre-planned for murders and horrible assault eases. This will make people think several times before committing to a crime. In addition, longer prison will assure the community that bestiality will receive the highest degree of punishments and never be roamed in the public freely; won't commit more offence. So, it ensures the less threat to the local from these anti-social elements. For example, a recent survey conducted in Dhaka, and it's clearly shown that awarding longer judgment of 16 years for sexual assault, lead to decrease the sexual harassment cases. Despite these arguments, there are more convincing viewpoints against this to solve this problem. The primary reason is that crime is a consequence of the circumstance. Nobody is born a criminal. Society needs to observe deeply into the situation which gives rise the criminals and should try to block it. For an instance, substandard is the main reason for a person to commit an offence. So, if the government ensures the basic needs of a person like a standard health care, housing and tertiary education, et Cetra of its' citizen, the incidents of robbery or any worsened antisocial activity will be decreased dramatically. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. Having both sides of the viewpoints I would argue that putting long sentences will not able to reduce the rising iniquity rates. However, to ensure every citizen's basic needs like tertiary education and modern health services, will deduct the guilty rates.
One of the most topical issues in modern society is the increasing number of criminals. It is
often
said that imprisonment for
longer
times is the
only
route to combat the number of offenders,
however
, others believe that there are
many
solutions to tackle this issue. In this easy, I will discuss both sides of the contentious arguments and provide my
own
perspective.

Generally
speaking, there is a wide range of
reasons
why
people
believe that
longer
imprisonment is
really
necessary to lessen the crime rates. Perhaps the main
reason
why
people
in
favour
of this trend is, that it will act as a warning by law that any antisocial and
offence
acts are intolerable and unacceptable. For an instance, life imprisonment and capital punishment are
pre-planned
for murders and horrible assault
eases
. This will
make
people
think
several times
before
committing to a crime.
In addition
,
longer
prison will assure the community that bestiality will receive the highest degree of punishments and never
be roamed
in the public
freely
; won't commit more
offence
.
So
, it ensures the less threat to the local from these anti-social elements.
For example
, a recent survey conducted in Dhaka, and it's
clearly
shown that awarding
longer
judgment of 16 years for sexual assault, lead to decrease the sexual harassment cases.

Despite these arguments, there are more convincing viewpoints against this to solve this problem. The primary
reason
is that crime is a consequence of the circumstance. Nobody
is born
a criminal. Society needs to observe
deeply
into the situation which gives rise the criminals and should try to block it. For an instance, substandard is the main
reason
for a person to commit an
offence
.
So
, if the
government
ensures the basic needs of a person like a standard health care, housing and tertiary education,
et
Cetra
of
its'
citizen, the incidents of robbery or any worsened antisocial activity will
be decreased
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. Having both sides of the viewpoints I would argue that putting long sentences will not able to
reduce
the rising iniquity rates.
However
, to ensure every citizen's basic needs like tertiary education and modern health services, will deduct the guilty rates.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Feedback and evaluation are necessary aspects of school and work, but many people dislike being evaluated. What are the causes of this problem? How could it be solved? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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