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q2. Some students would prefer to live with roommates. Others would prefer to live alone. Which option would you prefer and why. v.1

q2. Some students would prefer to live with roommates. Others would prefer to live alone. Which option would you prefer and why. v. 1
A certain category of people believes that economic prosperity should be the aim of governments. Another set of people believe that other factors should be looked at when considering the development of a nation. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and I will also state my views. Firstly, country's development is measured by how large her gross domestic product is. This is because the world has set it as a standard means of measurement. For example, Israel is considered to be more economically developed than Nigeria not because of size or power but their economy. As a result of this, all nations will focus more on what can boost their revenue and make it a priority. On the other hand, other factors like advancement in technology, health and even infrastructure should be given a priority by any country. This is because without this, a country would not be considered as a developed state. For example, despite high revenue that South Africa has, is still not recognized as an advanced territory because other three sectors mentioned above were not developed. Health is another important sector that should be developed because this will determine the life expectancy of its citizens. Diseased people in Nigeria including medical doctors are patronizing hospitals in the United States for treatment and work. This has resulted in a brain drain in Nigeria and significant improvement in the United States economy. In conclusion, I would argue that rather than concentrating efforts on economic status only, authorities must also consider greatly other factors that can contribute greatness to a state.
A certain category of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believes that economic prosperity should be the aim of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. Another set of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors should
be looked
at when considering the development of a nation. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument and I will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
my views.

Firstly
, country's development
is measured
by how large her gross domestic product is. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the world has set it as a standard means of measurement.
For example
, Israel
is considered
to be more
economically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
than Nigeria not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of size or power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their economy.
As a result
of this, all nations will focus more on what can boost their revenue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a priority.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors like advancement in technology, health and even infrastructure should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a priority by any country. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
without this, a country would not
be considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
.
For example
, despite high revenue that South Africa has, is
still
not recognized as an advanced territory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
three sectors mentioned above were not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
. Health is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sector that should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will determine the life expectancy of its citizens. Diseased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Nigeria including medical doctors are patronizing hospitals in the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
for treatment and work. This has resulted in a brain drain in Nigeria and significant improvement in the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
States
economy.

In conclusion
, I would argue that
rather
than concentrating efforts on economic status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
consider
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors that can contribute greatness to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q2. Some students would prefer to live with roommates. Others would prefer to live alone. Which option would you prefer and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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