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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.21

The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years.
It is sometimes believed that International sport competitions are a good way to inspire people to participate in physical activities. However, in my opinion, I strongly believe that building sport facilities in each community with free access will motivate more populace to exercise. Sport events, such as the Olympics help people to exercise because most fans prefer to watch these events live at the stadium and most time, they have to walk a long distance to get there. Traffic around stadium locations are usually heavily congested, which means a majority of fans will have to walk to the stadium. Moreover, those who watch the broadcast on television often jump and dance with excitement when their teams are winning the game which is also a form of exercising their bodies. One major way to boost people’s interest in engaging in physical activities is by building sport and gym facilities within communities with little or no access fees. Most people, for example, are reluctant to pay high membership fees often required to join a gym or sport complex, and sometimes they get discouraged due to the distance of these facilities to their homes. Therefore, I think that if more of these facilities, such as baseball and tennis court, swimming pool are built and equipped in each neighbourhood, it will inspire more people to participate in these activities. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I totally believe that sport competitions such as the World Cup are not the only means to motivate people to exercise. The presence of more facilities available in various communities, and its accessibility, the more people will be willing to engage in exercising.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
believed that International
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to inspire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in physical activities.
However
, in my opinion, I
strongly
believe that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities in each community with free access will motivate more populace to exercise.

Sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, such as the Olympics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most fans prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
at the stadium and most time, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
walk a long distance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there. Traffic around stadium locations are
usually
heavily
congested, which means a majority of fans will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
walk to the stadium.
Moreover
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the broadcast on television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
jump and dance with excitement when their teams are winning the game which is
also
a form of exercising their bodies.

One major way to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
interest
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in engaging in
physical activities is by building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
and gym facilities within communities with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no access fees. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
for example
, are reluctant to pay high membership fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a gym or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
complex, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discouraged due to the distance of these facilities to their homes.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if more of these facilities, such as baseball and tennis court, swimming pool
are built
and equipped in each
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
, it will inspire more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to participate in these activities.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinion, I
totally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions such as the World Cup are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise. The presence of more facilities available in various communities, and its accessibility, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be willing to engage in exercising.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The charts below provide the primary reason tourists visited Orange City in two different years.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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