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Farmers within a country are often protected by tariffs - that is, special taxes on imported food. Such policies are necessary, and should be implemented wherever possible. To what extent do you agree with this? v.2

Farmers within a country are often protected by tariffs - that is, special taxes on imported food. Such policies are necessary, and should be implemented wherever possible. v. 2
In this modern world, governments have been issuing laws to protect the local farmers by putting a high rate of import duty taxes. It is stated by some politicians and authorities that those policies and regulations are essential. I totally agree with this statement in order to the improvement of the local products and decreasing the products’ prices. First of all, since the beginning of humanity, farming has been a part of individuals lives and countries’ economy. Moreover, the first need for every person is vegetables, which produce from farmers inland. In fact, if governments do not guarantee that development of local farming, a huge number of people would face an economic crisis. Moreover, to prevent this undesirable situation, lawmakers and responsible authorities should take enough actions. For instance, if they increase the import duty and customs fees for imported groceries, their prices would be higher, and citizens’ demand would be directed to local productions. In other words, it contributes not only citizens and farmers, but also countries by increasing gross domestic products’ value. On the other hand, even if many countries have agreements between each other to trade for groceries or any materials, all countries only care about their citizens and close the borders in any time pandemic or other disaster happened. Moreover, if governments support their local producers and increase their production capacity, the countries will never encounter with lack of vegetables. Furthermore, in this manner, the responsibilities and liabilities of governments and chambers are higher, due to that reason, they should announce their problems with the related authorities and press the parliament to issue a law to decrease fuel rates for farmers. In conclusion, in my opinion, I am strongly convinced that governments should protect the local farmers by issuing sufficient restrictions on tariffs. Also, I believe that countries which have powerful and innovative farmer have an economic power globally.
In this modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have been issuing laws to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
by putting a high rate of import duty taxes. It
is stated
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians and authorities that those policies and regulations are essential. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement in order to the improvement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products and decreasing the products’ prices.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, since the beginning of humanity, farming has been a part of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries’
economy.
Moreover
, the
first
need for every person is vegetables, which produce from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
inland. In fact, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
do not guarantee that development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
farming, a huge number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would face an economic crisis.
Moreover
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
this undesirable situation, lawmakers and responsible authorities should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
actions.
For instance
, if they increase the import duty and customs fees for imported groceries, their prices would be higher, and citizens’ demand would
be directed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
productions. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, it contributes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
citizens and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
by increasing gross domestic products’ value.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, even if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have agreements between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to trade for groceries or any materials, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
care about their citizens and close the borders in any time pandemic or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disaster happened.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers and increase their production capacity, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will never encounter with lack of vegetables.
Furthermore
, in this manner, the responsibilities and liabilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
and chambers are higher, due to that reason, they should announce their problems with the related authorities and press the parliament to issue a law to decrease fuel rates for farmers.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, I am
strongly
convinced that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
by issuing sufficient restrictions on tariffs.
Also
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have powerful and innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
have an economic power globally.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Farmers within a country are often protected by tariffs - that is, special taxes on imported food. Such policies are necessary, and should be implemented wherever possible. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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