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Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. with this statement? v. 3
Whether or not it is required to pay taxes that support universal education, for families who do not send their children to government-financed schools, is a controversial issue nowadays. In my view this is not required, and I believe that tax paying should not be taken to make it appropriate. In cases like wealthy families have always wish to offer their children a good school. These kids enjoy proper conditions and treatments at school. They are provided with individual learning. So, when people are affordable to costly private colleges, it is certainly acceptable for them to avoid extra taxes payment of local schools, which cannot give these benefits. However, having said this, it must be admitted that what parents pay for is for teachers’ teaching to students. They are the one who provide all patience and learning. Salaries should be paid to them, let alone the salaries to private school teachers. It is considered as unfair treatment to them. The only payback for them is taxes, which parents must be required to pay. In conclusion, I believe that parents are not required to pay taxes, but on the other hand, I can sympathise with the situation of the teachers and I do believe that taxes should be paid to them as a reward to them.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
that support universal education, for families who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
-financed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, is a controversial issue nowadays. In my view this is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
, and I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
paying should not
be taken
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it appropriate.

In cases like wealthy families have always
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "wished".
wish
to offer their children a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. These kids enjoy proper conditions and treatments at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. They
are provided
with individual learning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are affordable to costly private colleges, it is
certainly
acceptable for them to avoid extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
payment of local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, which cannot give these benefits.

However
, having said this, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
that what parents pay for is for teachers’ teaching to students. They are the one who provide all patience and learning. Salaries should
be paid
to them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone the salaries to private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers. It
is considered
as unfair treatment to them. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
payback for them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
, which parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to pay.

In conclusion
, I believe that parents are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
required
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, I can
Possible spelling mistake. 'sympathise' is British English.
sympathise
with the situation of the teachers and I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
should
be paid
to them as a reward to them.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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