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Families who do not send their children to government financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

Families who do not send their children to government financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education with this statement v. 2
There is no doubt that these day street accidents are causing several problems and upgrading the number of deaths, however, the question: Do we need stricter rules for the speed limits in order to surge roads safety? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that speed limits are not the only reason and all road rules should be improved. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that speed limits must be controlled in a better way by declining and monitoring them more efficiently. Furthermore, there should be signs all over the roads to remind drivers that speed limits are the law and they have to respect them in order to avoid penalties. For example, here in Kuwait the speed limits on the highways are not convenient for the street's designs, so there is an intensive requirement to decrease them On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it in a different way. Our speeds are controlled, but we are still facing problems on the roads and as a result we need better rules. Moreover, cars should be monitored by the cameras on the streets and if anyone is violating driving principles, he/she has to receive an immediate penalty, so drivers will be awake all the time and they will follow the instructions carefully. For instance, in the United States police cars are spread all over the roads to control the flow and the rules. Several penalties are applicable for violating instructions like, not having a car seat for a child or not wearing the seatbelt for the people at the back and many others. In conclusion, our souls on roads are precious and we have to protect them carefully and I guess the best way to this is to improve all driving rules on the streets and differentiate between highways and internal ones.
There is no doubt that
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
street accidents are causing several problems and upgrading the number of deaths,
however
, the question: Do we need stricter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
in order to surge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
safety? Is being a controversial issue nowadays. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints, while I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
are not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

On one side of the argument, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
in a better way by declining and monitoring them more
efficiently
.
Furthermore
, there should be
Consider using the past participle "signed"?
signs
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to remind drivers that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
are the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
law and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respect them in order to avoid penalties.
For example
, here in Kuwait the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limits
on the highways are not convenient for the street's designs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is an intensive requirement to decrease
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them


On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
speeds
are controlled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are
still
facing problems on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and
as a result
we need better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
.
Moreover
, cars should
be monitored
by the cameras on the streets and if anyone is violating driving principles, he/she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
receive an immediate penalty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
drivers will be awake all the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they will follow the instructions
carefully
.
For instance
, in the United States police cars
are spread
all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
to control the flow and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. Several penalties are applicable for violating instructions like, not having a car seat for a child or not wearing the seatbelt for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the back and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others.

In conclusion
, our souls on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
precious and
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
protect them
carefully
and I guess the best way to this is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
all driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
on the streets and differentiate between highways and internal ones.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Families who do not send their children to government financed schools should not be required to pay taxes that support universal education with this statement v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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