Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

‘Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

‘Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ v. 1
Everyone has undergone through difficult changes and experienced ups and downs in his or her life. It is undoubtedly a normal trend in our life. However, I do not entirely agree that failure is dependent only on someone’s insufficient wish to succeed in a specific area. It does not seem unreasonable to suggest that during the evaluation of this situation many factors should be counted. Firstly, life circumstances in which are people. Someone, for instance, may have set a goal to launch a business but unexpectedly got married. This case is understandable and does not deserve any blame. One may prefer making a family while another would rather continue going straight forward to his or her dream. It is an individual choice based on personal preferences and life principles. On the other hand, I agree that failure means the person was not goal-driven and self-disciplined enough. This relates to many cases including a well-known problem with obesity. If a person has decided to lose a certain amount of weight than no obstacles should stop him. He does not have to give any easy or make excuses. In fact, if his goal is not achieved, as a result, he will not prove to himself he is strong and motivated human being. It means his wish was not powerful enough. The famous and great people of history have tried many things over and over again and there were lots of experiment that were not successful. The failure is not the key measurement of the determination and effort put towards accomplishing something. One could draw the conclusion that everything depends on the individual. A human being may accomplish tremendous results as proof of indescribably powerful motivation or end up without completing fully his task.
Everyone has undergone through difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and experienced ups and downs in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. It is
undoubtedly
a normal trend in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, I do not
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that failure is dependent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on someone’s insufficient wish to succeed in a specific area.

It does not seem unreasonable to suggest that during the evaluation of this situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors should
be counted
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
circumstances in which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Someone,
for instance
, may have set a goal to launch a business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unexpectedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married. This case is understandable and does not deserve any blame. One may prefer making a family while another would
rather
continue going straight forward to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
dream. It is an individual choice based on personal preferences and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
principles.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that failure means the person was not goal-driven and self-disciplined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. This relates to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases including a well-known problem with obesity.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
a person has decided to lose a certain amount of weight than no obstacles should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
him. He does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give any easy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
excuses. In fact, if his goal is not achieved,
as a result
, he will not prove to himself he is strong and motivated human being. It means his wish was not powerful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of history have tried
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things over and over again and there were lots of experiment that were not successful. The failure is not the key measurement of the determination and effort put towards accomplishing something.

One could draw the conclusion that everything depends on the individual. A human being may accomplish tremendous results as proof of
indescribably
powerful motivation or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up without completing
fully
his task.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay ‘Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts
  • 6.5band
    Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough. v. 1
    The passion of achieving something is called desire. Sometimes, people remain unsuccessful in attaining their goal, and this phenomenon is known as failure. There is a relation between the desire and attempts, and become successful. Every man has a specific goal in his life, and he works hard to be...
  • 7band
    Failure is proof that the desire wasn t strong enough 1
    There is a lot of debate about who should pay for recreational facilities in local communities. Although some people believe the business sector should provide these facilities, it is my opinion that this is the role of government. Some people think that companies should do more to support local co...
  • 8band
    Failure is proof that the desire wasn’t strong enough’ v. 2
    GENERALLY, PEOPLE DO VARIOUS THINKGS TO BE SUCCESS IN THEIR LIFE, BUT SOMETIMES, THEY FAIL. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT, THIS HAPPENS ONLY WHEN THEY DO NOT HAVE STRONG PASSION, WHICH IS THE EVIDENCE OF ANY FAILURE. FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, SOMETIMES LACK OF KNOWLEDGE COULD ALSO BE A PROOF FOR THIS AND HAVI...
  • 8.5band
    ‘Failure is proof that desire wasn’t strong enough’ v. 1
    Failure is the state or the condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success. It is often argued that, lack of accomplishment is the evidence of absence of aspiration or the person was not determined enough to reach the goals. While, I personal...


Recent posts