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Explain why the movies are as popular as a means of entertainment. v.1

Explain why the movies are as popular as a means of entertainment. v. 1
Today, movies have become a complete and favourite form of entertainment and it has outweighed other art forms like dramas, concert and the like. In this essay, I would like to discuss why people are attracted to movies. To commence with, movies are a complete package with attractive videos, songs, action and the like. To go deep inside, when a person watches a concert, dance or any other art form, they either get visual or audio experience, while movies have made with attractive songs, action scene, theme and dances. More importantly, they shoot in different locations around the world and that is an essential ingredient to make a story and film more attractive, that is how it has overtaken the popularity of dramas. Movies provide enormous flexibility to its viewers. To make it clear, movies can be seen from anywhere any time such as while travelling, by eating or cooking food and the like. Most of the movies are based on real-life stories or happenings when people watch movies each person gets the feeling that he or she represent that hero and it creates an emotional involvement with the movie and that force people to watch more movies. Furthermore, as we know the world has different kinds of people in the sense of age group and in their taste, but, films are popular among all of them with its unnatural ability and a huge variety of story. To exemplify, for children, there are fiction and cartoon movies, for youngsters, action movies, scientific movies and the same for old people and family. To conclude, there are hundreds of movies are released every day in different languages across the globe and that shows its overwhelming popularity among billions of people. Though over dependence on movies can have a detrimental effect on people, the movies are real boons to the people with its entertaining abilities.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have become a complete and
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
form of entertainment and it has outweighed other art forms like dramas, concert and the like. In this essay, I would like to discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to movies.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are a complete package with attractive videos, songs, action and the like. To go deep inside, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
a concert, dance or any other art form, they either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
visual or audio experience, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have made with attractive songs, action scene, theme and dances. More
importantly
, they shoot in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations around the world and
that is
an essential ingredient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a story and film more attractive,
that is
how it has overtaken the popularity of dramas.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movies
provide enormous flexibility to its viewers. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from anywhere any time such as while travelling, by eating or cooking food and the like. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are based
on real-life stories or happenings when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
each person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
the feeling that he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "represents", "represented".
represent
that hero and it creates an emotional involvement with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
and that force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
more movies.

Furthermore
, as we know the world has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the sense of age group and in their taste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, films are popular among all of them with its unnatural ability and a huge variety of story. To exemplify, for children, there are fiction and cartoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, for youngsters, action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and the same for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and family.

To conclude
, there are hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are released
every day in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
languages across the globe and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
its overwhelming popularity among billions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Though over dependence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can have a detrimental effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are real boons to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with its entertaining abilities.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Explain why the movies are as popular as a means of entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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