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Experience is a key factor from becoming successful. To what extent do you agree or disagree. v.1

Experience is a key factor from becoming successful. v. 1
Some people believe experience is the foundation of success and the basis of human evolution. I totally agree with this belief, as I think that experience paves the path of success in each and every field of life. To start with, most of the recruitment agencies or multi-national companies look for highly experienced workers, as they will promote their companies in a big way. In particular, people with specialized skills are an asset to the work environment and are usually in high demand by these establishments, as they bring their exprtise to the table. For instance, an experienced worker is well versed in handling difficult interpersonal relationships in the workplace, such as coordinating and organizing group assignments. Another important area where experience counts is the ability to foresee events and problems that might occur in the future. Established multi-national corporations that deal with huge quarterly and annual targets need an employee in a position of a CEO to predict any policy changes by the government, which can directly have an impact on their operations. In this situation, experience comes to the rescue and prevents any future damage to the company, if the right decisions are taken in time. As far as the downsides are concerned, handling different teams working on a project becomes challenging to the inexperienced employee. Similarly, without any forethought, an employee, or for that matter any individual, usually finds themselves in an undesirable situation. Even in life, youngsters require their experienced parents and grandparent’s guidance in day to day affairs. To sum-up, it can be concluded that experience is required in every field of life, and hence, students, employees and people in general should gather as many hours of experience as possible to become successful at whatever they do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is the foundation of success and the basis of human evolution. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this belief, as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
paves the path of success in each and every field of life.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, most of the recruitment agencies or multi-national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
look for
highly
experienced workers, as they will promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
way.
In particular
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are an asset to the work environment and are
usually
in high demand by these establishments, as they bring their
Possible spelling mistake found.
exprtise
to the table.
For instance
, an experienced worker is well versed in handling difficult interpersonal relationships in the workplace, such as coordinating and organizing group assignments.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
counts is the ability to foresee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and problems that might occur in the future. Established multi-national corporations that deal with huge quarterly and annual targets need an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
in a position of a CEO to predict any policy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, which can
directly
have an impact on their operations. In this situation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the rescue and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
any future damage to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, if the right decisions
are taken
in time.

As far as the downsides
are concerned
, handling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
teams working on a project becomes challenging to the inexperienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
Similarly
, without any forethought, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, or for that matter any individual,
usually
finds themselves in an undesirable situation. Even in life, youngsters require their experienced parents and grandparent’s guidance in day to day affairs.

To sum-up, it can
be concluded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is required
in every field of life, and
hence
, students,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in general
should gather as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as possible to become successful at whatever they do.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Experience is a key factor from becoming successful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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