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Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some people say it is government's responsibility to limitate sugar intake while others say it is individuals who are responsible. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.3

Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some people say it is government's responsibility to limitate sugar intake while others say it is individuals who are responsible. v. 3
Sugar utilization can cause detrimental implications on overall health. Owing to this, some people think that government is in charge of minimizing sugar consumption whereas other argue that it is a personal accountability to reduce sugar intake. Although, government can limit the sugar usage, I think it is individual' s responsibility and this essay will discuss both the arguments. To commence with, government can either imply a rile on food manufacturing companies to limit the sugar content in each and every product they produced or can ban the companies which are using exorbitant amount of sugar. Moreover, instead if banning the companies, authorities can compel them to manufacture the alternative of sugar that would as sweet as sugar but not harmful to health. Additionally, seminars can be organized periodically to familiriaze people about occurance of various diseases that can happen, if they consume sugar. For example, recently a seminar was held by Rajkot MNC pertaining to consequences of sugar intake and on top of that numerous people have taken part in it. Though, these all measures can only be implemented by government, I believe that it is individual' s responsibility to control sugar intake. On the contrary, there are several reasons to support this argument. Firstly, despite of banning companies or limiting sugar content, if individual will not maintain proper eating habits, them proportion of sugar augments in the body and eventually cause harm to body. So, it is individual' s responsibility. Secondly, individual can not only get habituated to alternatives of sugar but can also get used to eat food without sugar. To illustrate, a person can use sugar-free tablets in food items to fulfill the purpose of sugar. Thirdly, it is individual' s responsibility to visit the doctor regularly to maintain sugar level because neither government nor anyone else can do it. Hence, it can be substantiated that it is the accountability of an individual. In conclusion, however, government can take various steps, individual is utterly responsible to control sugar level in body and it is recommended that people have to take care of themselves to live a healthy life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
utilization can cause detrimental implications on
overall
health. Owing to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is in charge of minimizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consumption whereas other argue that it is a personal accountability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
usage, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
and this essay will discuss both the arguments.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can either imply
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'rile' is correct. If 'rile' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a rile
on food manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content in each and every product they produced or can ban the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
which are using exorbitant amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Moreover
,
instead
if banning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, authorities can compel them to manufacture the alternative of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
that would as sweet as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not harmful to health.
Additionally
, seminars can
be organized
periodically
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
familiriaze
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
occurance
of various diseases that can happen, if they consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
For example
, recently a seminar
was held
by Rajkot
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
pertaining to consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake and
on top of that
numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have taken part in it. Though, these all measures can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be implemented
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, I believe that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
intake.

On the contrary
, there are several reasons to support this argument.
Firstly
,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
or limiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
content, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
will not maintain proper eating habits, them proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
augments in the body and
eventually
cause harm to body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
habituated to alternatives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eat food without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. To illustrate, a person can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
sugar-free tablets in food items to fulfill the purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
.
Thirdly
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
to visit the doctor
regularly
to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
neither
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
nor anyone else can do it.
Hence
, it can
be substantiated
that it is the accountability of an individual.

In conclusion
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can take various steps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is
utterly
responsible to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
level in body and it
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy life.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Sugar consumption is too harmful. Some people say it is government's responsibility to limitate sugar intake while others say it is individuals who are responsible. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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