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Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint? v.1

Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint? v. 1
There is an opinion that all people should take part in charity donations in an equal percentage of their income. I could not agree with this statement, and I will explain the reasons in this essay. Firstly, making charity an obligatory cost for working people might meet a negative reaction and even cause a social protest. This possibly would be treated as a tax growth, which would negatively influence people’s real income levels. Raising taxes is a sensitive topic for any society and, thus, should be better avoided if not for an extremely serious reason. Secondly, in different life situations people’s willingness to share their income could change dramatically. By this we mean that a person could donate significantly above average when she or he has a strong financial situation, and entirely refuse paying in different situation. And this choice is better to be kept, as charity should not become a burden for a volunteer. And the final reason is that there are many problems with are under-supported by the governments and charity becomes an alternative program to tackle the issues. But different people could decide to support different issues, based on their attitude to a one or another problem. The charity provides an opportunity to any man to make a significant impact for the most personal problem, and to feel his or her importance this way. If charity lost the variety of options, the willingness to support would decline significantly, as not a lot of people would be motivated to support issues with are not important to them. It is true that charity is an important program which gives a chance or help to people, who faced with a difficult situation. But this should be a voluntary action for each person. So everybody could take a personal decision on which amount to donate at each moment of life. To conclude, charity is an important tool to tackle some social problems, which are not covered by the governments. But it is important to keep it voluntary so every person could decide which program to support and with which amount of his or her budget.
There is an opinion that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
donations in an equal percentage of their income. I could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons in this essay.

Firstly
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
an obligatory cost for working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reaction and even cause a social protest. This
possibly
would
be treated
as a tax growth, which would
negatively
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
real income levels. Raising taxes is a sensitive topic for any society and,
thus
, should be better avoided if not for an
extremely
serious reason.
Secondly
, in
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different
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
willingness to share their income could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
dramatically
. By this we mean that a person could donate
significantly
above average when she or he has a strong financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, and
entirely
refuse paying in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. And this choice is better to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
should not become a burden for a volunteer. And the final reason is that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with are under-supported by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
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charity
becomes an alternative program to tackle the issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
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different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could decide to
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support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
issues, based on their attitude to a one or another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
provides an opportunity to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant impact for the most personal
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problem
, and to feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
importance this way. If
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charity
lost the variety of options, the willingness to
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support
would decline
significantly
, as not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
issues with are not
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important
to them.

It is true that
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charity
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
program which gives a chance or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who faced with a difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this should be a voluntary action for each person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everybody could take a personal decision on which amount to donate at each moment of life.

To conclude
,
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charity
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
tool to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, which are not covered by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it voluntary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
every person could decide which program to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and with which amount of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
budget.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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