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Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v.1

Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v. 1
Technology is glowing in the past decades and still it is ameliorating its importance in human life. In the past 10 decades, there were a vast number of technical machines are developed and used in various fields such as medical, agriculture and so on. In this, computers are the most notable, most widely used and using machines in this world. In my opinion, the computer is the technological machine that plays a major part in our lives. To begin with, Undoubtedly, computers hold a more significant place when compared to other technological machines and electronic items, for an instance the wearable items like electronic watches, headphones, Bluetooth headset are majorly a part of computers or otherwise they are notified as mini computers. The computers are evolved with millions of changes in the past decades. However, these changes are beneficial one in various arenas, now the Internet of things is playing major roles in day-to-day lives. To contrast with the benefits, the computers are vastly used by the well educated person and its usage is minimal in normal humans. However, this invention rooted the developments of various electronic gadgets and modern medical instruments. In addition, this also reduced the mortality rate. Moreover, the major usage of this computer is data handling, they can store large amount of data. In addition, the satellites and communication networks are well developed with the help of the computers. To conclude, the computers are the most pivotal invention of the past decades and without this the health, communication, agriculture and various other sectors would not be developed. Thus, computers play a vast role in human life and the above mentioned examples are some of them.
Technology is glowing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
decades and
still
it is ameliorating its importance in human life. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
10 decades, there were a vast number of technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
are developed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
fields such as medical, agriculture and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In this, computers are the most notable, most
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
and using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in this world.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, the computer is the technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that plays a major part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
Undoubtedly
, computers hold a more significant place when compared to other technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and electronic items, for an instance the wearable items like electronic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
, headphones, Bluetooth headset are
majorly
a part of computers or
otherwise
they
are notified
as mini computers. The computers
are evolved
with millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
decades.

However
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are beneficial one in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
arenas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the Internet of things is playing major roles in day-to-day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To contrast with the benefits, the computers are
vastly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
person and its usage is minimal in normal humans.
However
, this invention rooted the developments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
electronic gadgets and modern medical instruments.
In addition
, this
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the mortality rate.
Moreover
, the major usage of this computer is data handling, they can store large amount of data.
In addition
, the satellites and communication networks are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well developed
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the computers.

To conclude
, the computers are the most pivotal invention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
decades and without this the health, communication, agriculture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
other sectors would not
be developed
.
Thus
, computers play a vast role in human life and the above mentioned examples are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Imagine that you plan to donate money to charity to help people in need. If you could give money to only one type of charitable organization, which one of the following would you choose and why? - An organization that provides food and housing to people i v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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