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Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. with this statement? v. 2
As is true that studying at educational institutions Can improve both scientific and moral perspectives Of a person and it can be beneficial to allow more people entering universities. So, I believe that it, might be very effective letting everyone gain university courses; but in some cases it might not be that much useful. To begin, those people who attended the universities with a weak background of academic capability, Might become very successful even though they had not strong knowledge. But being surrounded by Scientific spaces, it can lead them to something valuable. Although these types cannot be matched with those who entered the universities with a great academic ability, yet it is worth to give them chances to experiment their intelligence. On the other hand, those ones who attended the universities with a stable academic ability, might be Unpleasant with the other the ones who have a weaker education, because they may believe that this combination of abilities causes a problem to learn as it might be not having a good balance In class and those who came with good ability Do not use the necessary of universities as it should be. In addition, allowing men and women study without a proof of their ability to do so, might result in a lot of resources being wasted. The reason for this is that third level education is expensive, costing up to $12, 000 per year in the UK, for instance. If a student picks an area of study and is then unable to complete it because he finds it difficult, a lot of money, which could have been channelled to other purposes, would have been wasted. In conclusion, some people believe that everyone should be admitted into university academic programs, irrespective of how they have performed academically in the past. This should be experienced over times And considered the feedback to decide whether it is good to have this kind of system or not.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
is true that studying at educational institutions

Can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
both scientific and moral perspectives

Of a person and it can be beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I believe that it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective letting everyone gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
courses;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be that much useful.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
with a weak background of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
capability,

Might become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful
even though
they had not strong knowledge.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
being surrounded
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
by


Scientific spaces, it can lead them to something valuable. Although these types cannot
be matched
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
entered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
with a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
,
yet
it is worth to give them chances to experiment their intelligence.

On the other hand
,
This phrase is probably grammatically incorrect. Write "those" instead.
those ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
attended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
with a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be

Unpleasant with the other the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have a weaker education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may believe that

this combination of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
causes a problem to learn as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be not having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ability

Do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the necessary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
as it should be.

In addition
, allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women study without a proof of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
resources
being wasted
.
The reason for this is
that third level education is expensive, costing up to $12, 000 per year in the UK,
for instance
. If a student picks an area of study and is then unable to complete it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he finds it difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money, which could have
been channelled
to other purposes, would have
been wasted
.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that everyone should
be admitted
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
programs, irrespective of how they have performed
academically
in the past. This should
be experienced
over times

And considered the feedback to decide whether it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have this kind of system or not.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Everybody should be allowed admission to university study programs regardless of their level of academic ability. with this statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
11 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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