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"It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v.17

"It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 17
Some would argue that it is essential that children are taught morals from an early age and punihment is the best way to do it. This eassay totally agrees with that statement because they will be punished at school and by the authorities when they get older if they break the rules, however, parents should not beat their child and instead should deprive them of something they love. It is essential that young children get used to punishment because they will be treated in the same way later in life by their teachers and by the police. A lack of discipline at home often leads to delinquency later in life because the person has not been taught that there will be consequences to breaking the rules. Therefore, parents have a responsibility to punish their children so that they will become responsible students and citizens in the future. In my primary school, parents who were very relaxed about discipline often produced the most unruly children and some of them even went on to serve prison terms because they were never taught the difference between good and bad behaviour. However, punishment should never be violent in any way because it teaches the child that the answer to a problem is to beat someone and this could result in a young person that is prone to violence. A study by Queen's University concluded that over three quarters of all violent offenders in British prisons experience some kind of physical punishment as children. A better punishment is to take away something the child treasures, such as their favourite toy or TV show or stopping them seeing their best friend. This allows the child time to think about what they did and learn from the experience without resorting to physical abuse. In conclusion, discipline should be instilled from a young age because it will teach the child about what is acceptable and unacceptable later in life, however, this should always be non-violent and the best way to punish a child is to deny them something they have a deep attachment to.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that it is essential that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are taught
morals from an early age and
Possible spelling mistake found.
punihment
is the best way to do it. This
Possible spelling mistake found.
eassay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with that statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be punished
at school and by the authorities when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older if they break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
,
however
, parents should not beat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
and
instead
should deprive them of something they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

It is essential that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
be treated
in the same way
later in life by their teachers and by the police. A lack of discipline at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to delinquency later in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the person has not
been taught
that there will be
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
breaking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Therefore
, parents have a responsibility to punish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will become responsible students and citizens in the future. In my primary school, parents who were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relaxed about discipline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
produced the most
unruly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them even went on to serve prison terms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they were never taught the difference between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should never be violent in any way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it teaches the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that the answer to a problem is to beat someone and this could result in a young person
that is
prone to violence. A study by Queen's University concluded that over three quarters of all violent offenders in British prisons experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. A better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is to take away something the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
treasures, such as their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
toy or TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or stopping them seeing their best friend. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what they did and learn from the experience without resorting to physical abuse.

In conclusion
, discipline should
be instilled
from a young age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
about what is acceptable and unacceptable later in life,
however
, this should always be non-violent and the best way to punish a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is to deny them something they have a deep attachment to.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learn a language, and you’ll avoid a war.
Arab Proverb

IELTS essay "It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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