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. . . Hacking: Crime or Service to Society? . . . In the world of computers, the term “hacker” gets two different responses. One hacker can be productively designing games, programs, and ways to improve security of information, while the other hacker tries t v.1

. . . Hacking: Crime or Service to Society? . . . In the world of computers, the term “hacker” gets two different responses. One hacker can be productively designing games, programs, and ways to improve security of information, while the other hacker tries t v. 1
It is argued by some that services for non-profit organizations as volunteering a particular area, should be taught at university level as an academic subject but others deny this fact. However, I don’t subscribe to this notion because it can bring a deluge of adverse ramification in academy curriculum like poor performance and victims of anti-social actives. Even though, it has some positive vibes, but it should not be included in department syllabus. Unfortunately, the main reason is the academic pressure on students who are at the secondary level. By this I mean, students have to study lots of subjects within a limited period of time and that would become harder in case the community programs are made compulsory for them. One clear example, in India, Head of Education department added more subject in seminary curriculum which can lead to peer pressure of students and physiological depression. On top of that, the safety issue of teenager is foremost concern among the parents about them. In other words, most people will not feel safe it because dealing with the cleaning of streets and take care of patients in hospital can cause of virus infection to their kids too. For illustration, statistics reveals that most of volunteer also got infected due to viral diseases in hospitals while helping the patients. Apart from that, maturity and requirement are considerable points of participation. This is to say that, since they are not capable enough to handle difficult situation and can feel dissatisfaction while implementing such strategies among others. For instance, Most of students develop negative attitudes towards these programs and may lose interest in doing these services later on. In conclusion, although community services has benefits but it should be part of education because of its pressure at an early age student\
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that services for non-profit organizations as volunteering a particular area, should
be taught
at university level as an academic subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others deny this fact.
However
, I don’t subscribe to this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can bring a deluge of adverse ramification in academy curriculum like poor performance and victims of anti-social actives.
Even though
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be included
in department syllabus.

Unfortunately, the main reason is the academic pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are at the secondary level. By this I mean,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study lots of subjects within a limited period of time and that would become harder in case the community programs
are made
compulsory for them. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, in India, Head of Education department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
more subject in seminary curriculum which can lead to peer pressure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and physiological depression.
On top of that
, the safety issue of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is foremost concern among the parents about them.
In other words
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not feel safe it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
dealing with the cleaning of streets and take care of patients in hospital can cause of virus infection to their kids too. For illustration, statistics reveals that
Consider using "most volunteer" or "most of the volunteer".
most of volunteer
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
infected due to viral diseases in hospitals while helping the patients.

Apart from that, maturity and requirement are considerable points of participation. This is to say that, since they are not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to handle difficult situation and can feel dissatisfaction while implementing such strategies among others.
For instance
, Most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes towards these programs and may lose interest in doing these services later on.

In conclusion
, although community services has benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should be part of education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its pressure at an early age student\
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay . . . Hacking: Crime or Service to Society? . . . In the world of computers, the term “hacker” gets two different responses. One hacker can be productively designing games, programs, and ways to improve security of information, while the other hacker tries t v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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