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Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 8
Not being meat-eater because of the devastating effects of meat on our health condition is a discussion that raised recently. I partially agree with this statement, in my point of view overeating of each type of food may cause severe health problems. On the one hand, the vegetable is an essential nutrition for the human body and lack of vegetables in people’s daily diet definitely cause a problem regarding health problems. There are various types of vitamins and minerals in the vegetables and fruits which human body needs to survive and lack of each vitamin would cause a serious problem and lead to severe illness such as cancer or stroke. Thus, the nutritional benefits of vegetables and fruits apparently can be seen and include vegetables in the diet is undeniably important. On the other hand, the human body needs meat for growing the muscles and burning it during everyday activities. Meat produces protein and Vitamin B for the body and it is obvious that vitamin B plays a vital role in human health. For instance, B6 prevent depression and lack of B6 in the body in some cases prevent people to do their daily activities, and it is found adequately in meats and dairy products. Hence, it is essential to notice that a healthy body needs every single type of nutrition. To conclude, while there are several compelling arguments on whether becoming a vegan or remaining a carnivore, in my perspective both diets are beneficial and we should use both of them in an adequate amount. There is a lot of necessary vitamins and mineral in both meats and vegetables and each organ in the body needs them for functioning properly.
Not being meat-eater
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the devastating effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition is a discussion that raised recently. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, in my point of view overeating of each type of food may cause severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetable
is an essential nutrition for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s daily diet definitely cause a problem regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. There are various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitamins
and minerals in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and fruits which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to survive and lack of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitamin
would cause a serious problem and lead to severe illness such as cancer or stroke.
Thus
, the nutritional benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and fruits
apparently
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
in the diet is
undeniably
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
for growing the muscles and burning it during everyday activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Meat
produces protein and
The word 'vitamin' is normally not capitalized in the expression "vitamin B"
Vitamin B
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
and it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitamin
B plays a vital role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
For instance
, B6
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
depression and lack of B6 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do their daily activities, and it
is found
adequately
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meats
and dairy products.
Hence
, it is essential to notice that a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
every single type of nutrition.

To conclude
, while there are several compelling arguments on whether becoming a vegan or remaining a carnivore, in my perspective both diets are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
beneficial and
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
both of them in an adequate amount. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
necessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vitamins
and mineral in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meats
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vegetables
and each organ in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
them for functioning
properly
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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