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Every day traffic seems to get worse on our roads. Most people are reluctant to use public transportation. What needs to be done to make public transportation an effective option for more people in your town? v.2

Every day traffic seems to get worse on our roads. Most people are reluctant to use public transportation. What needs to be done to make public transportation an effective option for more people in your town? v. 2
In these days, the number of people in cities is growing and their streets are becoming increasingly congested. Many people do not use public transport and they rely on private cars. In this essay, I will discuss some reasons for the problem and measures that can be taken to address this issue. One of the major causes of traffic congestion is that people utilize more private cars. They think that public transport is often slow and unreliable. Cars are much more comfortable. In other words, individuals who use their own cars can get to their destination faster. They do not need to wait for buses or trains. To tackle this problem, the government should impose a tax on using private cars. As a consequence, people will be encouraged to use public transportation and they will reduce their dependence on cars. Another reason for the tendency of using vehicles rather than public transport is the low quality of transportation. Buses, trains and metro systems are often dirty and crowded. On the other hand, many people complain about the consistency of public transportations schedules, which can have impacts on their work or study. They spend much time on commuting. A solution to this problem is for the government to gentrify and subsidize public transportation. As a result, public transport will be more reliable and efficient. People will use it more frequently. All in all, I think that public transportation in my city needs a huge investment and there should be a strong penalty for those who wish to drive their own cars so that life can be better for everyone.
In these days, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in cities is growing and their streets are becoming
increasingly
congested.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
transport and
they rely on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In this essay, I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for the problem and measures that can
be taken
to address this issue.

One of the major causes of traffic congestion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
utilize more private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
slow and unreliable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
are much more comfortable.
In other words
, individuals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their destination faster. They do not need to wait for buses or trains. To tackle this problem, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a tax on using private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
transportation and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their dependence on cars.

Another reason for the tendency of using vehicles
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is the low quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Buses, trains and metro systems are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
dirty and crowded.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
complain about the consistency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
schedules, which can have impacts on their work or study. They spend much time on commuting. A solution to this problem is for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to gentrify and subsidize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will be more reliable and efficient.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it more
frequently
.

All in all, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
in my city needs a huge investment and there should be a strong penalty for those who wish to drive their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that life can be better for everyone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Every day traffic seems to get worse on our roads. Most people are reluctant to use public transportation. What needs to be done to make public transportation an effective option for more people in your town? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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