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Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries. Discuss it's advantages and disadvantages. v.1

Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries. Discuss it's advantages and disadvantages. v. 1
Most of the countries encourage Tourism due to increase their profits. In my Opinion Travelling is the best way to reduce stress while should take care when we go new places. People safety more important for countries. Tourism has combined different types of places and sceneries which are related to mountains, rivers and fascinating areas those are amazing while watching. For Example, In India we have so many states, each province has famous ancient forts from a few years ago. The Government provides all facilities to travellers who have come to their country automatically that government gain profit during the person travel in their province. On the other hand, People think travelling reduce their stress while spending with office work, it will help to regain strength from nature. Nature is giving fresh air so get fresh feel. Every rustic has amazing nature depends on climate than that rustic is using this opportunity to get revenue that may help to increase country income. For example, US has a different climate, some countries do not see snow in their countries, so some people fascinating to see that snow. That is the in thing to improve their revenue. However, if we doing plan to go for travel, we should take care about ourself at the same time should know about that place. How to go there, accommodation and minimum communication. Approach the local government if we need any suggestion or doubts. Sometimes, fewer misbehave and facing issue. I have to come to conclusion, people enjoys their travel with safety and take responsibility if they face any issue there. Countries also gain revenue with tourism to give protection for the traveller from unknown persons.
Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
encourage Tourism due to increase their profits. In my Opinion Travelling is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
while should take care when we go new places.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
safety more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for countries.

Tourism has combined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of places and sceneries which
are related
to mountains, rivers and fascinating areas those are amazing while watching.
For Example
, In India we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
states, each province has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
ancient forts from a few years ago. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
provides all facilities to
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
automatically
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
gain profit during the person travel in their province.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
while spending with office work, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to regain strength from nature. Nature is giving fresh air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh feel. Every rustic has amazing nature depends on climate than that rustic is using this opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
revenue that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
income.
For example
, US has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
climate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
snow in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fascinating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that snow.
That is
the in thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their revenue.

However
, if
Did you mean "we're doing", "we are doing", or "we were doing"?
we doing
plan to go for travel, we should take care about
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
at the same time should know about that place. How to go there, accommodation and minimum communication. Approach the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
if we need any suggestion or doubts.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, fewer misbehave and facing issue.

I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
enjoys
their travel with safety and take responsibility if they face any issue there.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
also
gain revenue with tourism to give protection for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
from unknown persons.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism has been a good source of revenue in many countries. Discuss it's advantages and disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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