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Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

As per a school of thought, it is believed that every nation should offer medical care at zero cost, regardless if newest treatments are unavailable due to excessive costs. However, I disagree with this opinion to a certain extent. While this would assure treatment to under-previliged sections of society, it would fail to provide up-to-date remedies for many fatal diseases which can result in increasing deaths. The essay further discusses this topic in length. To begin with, no cost health services will bring equality in society and every citizen would be able to avail the services. This will typically benefit the low-income groups who cannot get medications, surgeries and other high-priced treatments. As per Forbes report, 58. 99% of Indians loose lives because of extraordinarily high costs. However, if free medical facilities are provided to residents, there is high potential that only cost effective treatments will be provided by government funds. There will be a specific budget that state will allocate to meet requirements of healthcare and most medications provided will be indigenous. This will imply that such countries will not be able to take advantage of growing medical science, latest technologies and inventions as it will be expensive to import or purchase them. Futhermore, this will eliminate privatization in medical sector and bring long waiting lists for doctors and people will struggle for getting appointments to visit a specialist. For instance - Canada has free healthcare for its people, but fails to provide timely care due to long waiting queues. To arrange a meeting with a doctor or get some tests done, it usually takes two to three months. This becomes unjust for people who can afford to pay but loose their lives because effective and efficient care was not given. To conclude, availing free medicare will be a blessing for the poorer sections of the society, but it can result in inefficacious treatments and lack of timely care. Governments should instead look for better alternatives like providing subsidies and free camps to poors, and maintaining high standards in treatments.
As per a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, it
is believed
that every nation should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
at zero
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, regardless if newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
are unavailable due to excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
.
However
, I disagree with this opinion to a certain extent. While this would assure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
under-previliged
sections of society, it would fail to provide up-to-date remedies for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fatal diseases which can result in increasing deaths. The essay
further
discusses this topic in length.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
health services will bring equality in society and every citizen would be able to avail the services. This will
typically
benefit the low-income groups who cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medications, surgeries and other high-priced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
. As per Forbes report, 58. 99% of Indians loose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
extraordinarily
high costs.

However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities
are provided
to residents, there is high potential that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
cost effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
will
be provided
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funds. There will be a specific budget that state will allocate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
requirements of healthcare and most medications provided will be indigenous. This will imply that such countries will not be able to take advantage of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
science,
A determiner is probably missing here: “the latest”.
latest
technologies and inventions as it will be expensive to import or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, this will eliminate privatization in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector and bring long waiting lists for doctors and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will struggle for getting appointments to visit a specialist.
For instance
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
Canada has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
healthcare for its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fails to provide timely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
due to long waiting queues. To arrange a meeting with a doctor or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
done, it
usually
takes two to three months. This becomes unjust for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can afford to pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Did you mean “lose” (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
effective and efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

To conclude
, availing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
medicare will be a blessing for the poorer sections of the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can result in
Possible spelling mistake found.
inefficacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
and lack of timely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should
instead
look for better alternatives like providing subsidies and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
camps to
Possible spelling mistake found.
poors
, and maintaining high standards in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
.
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One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay : Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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